stand up! (and piss…well, if you were born with a cock)

so, while the feds are all up in arms about health care (and way to go, mccane, i might add)…

…here it texas we’re more concerned where you take a shit.

well, i’m not. at least, as long as it’s not on my yard, in my car, etc. but no matter how manly you look, if you were BORN a woman, they want you to use the lady’s. and like-wise, if you were born a dude, stand up and piss! it’s for “safety”, they say. so, for safety, because she was born a dude, this lady is supposed to use the men’s room at a spurs game…

truth. google her. amelia maltepe was born not only a man, but a MUSLIM man. in bangladesh, which is TOTALLY not on XLV’s bullshit travel ban, so she can come and go to texas as she pleases. a muslim transgender they’d all wanna fuck? that’s satan to conservative lawmakers! good, god-fearing, white christian males know jesus will bless them for making sure that this bitch stays in the ladies room right next to their daughters and wives where she belongs:

here’s a fun statistic – the amount of men who have posed as a transgender woman to attack women in the bathroom is the same amount of women who have posed as transgender men to get dick in the bathroom:

ZERO

so, since the legislature has taken it upon themselves to go after something that harms absolutely fucking NOBODY, i figure we’ll look at six things they COULD outlaw, but they won’t, because let’s not mince words – this is a religious bill. here’s a brief list of things that are more harmful to us that for some reason they wanna keep around even though it puts us in danger:

GOLF

tons of injuries, tons of masogony and closet racism. needs to go, right? but they won’t kill that any sooner than…

GUNS

i am a white male in my forties – i can carry SIX of these into the grocery store, church, wherever the fuck i want. because when jesus wrote the constitution he said we could have as many guns as we could carry, right? but he also said if you were born with a dick leave it there! i’m quoting my neighbor, and he might be paraphrasing a bit, but he hasn’t been quite right since earlier this summer he hit his head falling off his…

HORSE

yep, these grain-fed death machines are still around, even though even more texans get killed every year by their successor:

BIG ASS TRUCKS

yep, probably a bigger danger than guns here. especially when mixed with…

BEER

DWI’s. liver and kidney failure. and outside of that, sometimes it fuels violence with guns (see above) in places like…

STRIP CLUBS

in addition to breaking cousin greg’s heart (but maxing out his spank bank account) there’s all kinds of violence that goes down here. tons of injuries, be it patron to patron, staff to staff, or even staff to patron. but i dare say beer, golf, strippers, big ass trucks, horses, and especially guns ain’t going anywhere – so just let people piss in peace.