humpday “huh?” bit

you might ACTUALLY be bilingual…

…and not even know it.

the way back story:

the subject of this bit and i used to date. we’re supposed to go to dinner tonight, although various factors (including her possibly reading this) might change that. in her defense (and part of what makes this bit so damn funny to me) she has a bachelor’s degree in english literature. for all texans reading this, it’s from texas a&m, so make of that what you wish…

the back story:

in preperation for our dinner i had offered to burn a cd for her, she was happy about this and had specified a song or two prior to me going in the gym. as i’m all about the mix tape (and of the age to where that was the medium we used to use) and very musical in nature AND somebody who dated this girl for a year and some change i had ideas of what to put on there – various songs i knew she liked from her response to my iPod playing as we painted her house, going to movies with her, driving around with the radio blasting, etc, etc. but she had her own ideas as well, and when i got out of the gym this was waiting on my phone:

Awesum!!! Think u can add d maps yeah yeah and new zero song? Ooo n d 1 2 3 ipod song…dnt mean 2 b greedy but ive been wntn des 4eva.

seriously? what the hell does this mean? not being of the “texting generation” per se, (les tried when we were hanging out regularly to convert me, but sue me – i still text in this aged language called “english”) i had no decoder ring to muddle through half of this.

once i got home, i googled and iTunes’d a bit and figured out this was another three songs. but phrases like “ooo n d…” and “wntn des 4eva” just fried my cerebelum.

since we went to “just friends” mode last fall (or winter, or whenever we crossed back across that line) she’s taken up with a guy a decade her senior (and she’s thirty-four) who apparently texts like a teenage girl…i can only trust that’s where this came from. either that or, without me knowing it, she dumped him for a high school sophomore and picked this up there. i actually bounced this off twenty-someting friends of mine (okay, “friends” is stretching it as it was the bartender and some waitresses where i was having lunch) and they couldn’t make heads or tails of it either – so i know it’s not an “age thing”.

here i thought i still just needed to master spanish to properly date cute lil’ (meant in the “size” sense of the word, not the “show us on the doll where the bad man touched you” sense of the word) latinas and now there’s ANOTHER language i need which’ll probably apply to white (and black and asian and…) girls, too?

fuck that – S.O.D. said it best: “speak english or die!”

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  • JAB Apr 15, 2009 @ 13:28

    That might be the missle launch command.

    DUCK AND COVER EVERYBODY