monday morning meal math melee

i thought i got lucky…

…i walked in my breakfast taco to find only one person in line. the drive-thru line is usually pretty nuts, but if you’re not lazy, and will get out of your car, your typically in and out in no time. this time there was only one person in front of me, which was cool, but the counter girl was on the phone.

we both sat for a good five minutes while she wrapped up the call.

for social decorum reasons i wasn’t right up on the ass of the guy in front of me so i didn’t notice the counter; but once i got up there i saw a row of receipts laid out like a deck of cards. i placed our order and didn’t even bother sitting down because usually it’s three minutes or less and your food is there.

today, after five minutes i sat down. ten minutes later i got up to see what the fuck – it was now over twenty minutes since i’d walked in to begin what is usually a three minute journey and i’d almost killed my 500ml bottle of coca~cola de mexicana and still had no food.

i walked up to the counter and the deck was still on the the counter. i asked the woman if all these receipts (nine, i counted) were off the phone call she was on when i walked in. “si” was her response. i replied, “so, essentially, i wasn’t second in line when i got here, i was ELEVENTH. lemme grab my money back – i need my breakfast before lunch!”

all of a sudden she was able to hustle things along, and the three of us waiting in the lobby had our food in two minutes flat. as i was leaving a white girl about the size of me, the ufc, and the kiddo in a family group hug walked in with a wad of singles and fives separated by colorful post-it notes clutched in her chubby (not so) little fist.

THIS was my twenty minute delay!

here’s a tip, folks – do what i do. EVERY phone out there (and we all have one) has a calculator app on it. if you have to do a taco run for your place of business (as we all do from time to time in texas) simply figure up what somebody’s order is, round up to the nearest dollar, and tell ’em to give you that much. if it’s four and they give you a five, write a note you owe ’em a buck and move on. if they have to use a card, fuck ’em – they get to go get the order or get their own. and then figure shit out when you get back to the office or shop…

…but only place ONE fucking order!!!

i drink booze and smoke weed on the DAILY and i can mentally accomplish this – so can you!

try not to be THAT asshole at the to-go counter. and that’s…

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