what? are servers typically made of bar-b-que?

i try to support local businesses wherever i can…

…but sometimes their ethics just make it impossible.

one of the earlier memories of my relationship with the ufc was her sending me an e-card that said “i love you more than vegans love telling people they’re vegan”. until you deal with a member of the meatless mafia of cheese-haters you don’t really grasp how much love that REALLY is. a vegan co-worker recently started their own side business doing web design and hosting (as well as other graphic services) and launch post sited the word vegan FOUR FUCKING TIMES in the first paragraph, which had me baffled.

okay, for the wrap part i get it, as inks and pigments occasionally use gelatin or some animal by-product. but web hosting? layout? design? i’m a pretty die-hard carnivore, and even i’m too fucking lazy to actually go out and BUY meat to put something like this on my page:

i just went out to google and searched “pile of bar-b-que”. so, sure, animals WERE harmed. at some point. but not like, recently. if you’re gonna go bring up the past like that, aren’t you being hypocritical being all high & mighty vegan when you use gasoline or plastic? all come from petroleum, which is leftover from dead dinosaurs. don’t they deserve your sparing? i mean sure, they’re already dead, but don’t they have the same rights?

as research for this, i actually googled “vegan web hosting”, found a site actually by that name (no surprise) and read that while they acknowledge that hosting is, by nature, animal-free (save for the pitbull sleeping on my feet under the desk right now) but that when you give money to a NON-vegan business you are financially supporting animal cruelty in some way, shape, or form…i guess because that motherfucker’s gotta eat and he might eat something other than tofu?

i gotta bow to chuck lorre and his opinion on a recent vanity card about these salad shooters:

I’ve thought long and hard about this vanity card. What I’m about to say is going to upset quite a few people. Some of them are my friends. Or perhaps, after reading this, my former friends. But I can’t let that stop me from speaking my mind. It’s time to say out loud what I know in my heart to be true. Vegetarians and vegans are mobility bigots. They believe that if a life form doesn’t move, it’s fair game to be killed and eaten. They hold a deep seated prejudice against plants, or, as plants prefer to be called, “We Who Stand Still.” This hateful philosophy is predicated on the idea that movement equals consciousness, or, if you will, a certain level of sacredness. To put it simply, if it walks, flies, or swims, or comes from something that does, it should not be ingested. If it doesn’t, yum-yum. Of course when you ask vegetarians and vegans, they say no, they’re only opposed to eating flesh. But what could be more fleshy than a mushroom? Or avocado? Or eggplant? The ugly truth is they are cowards who murder and devour anything that can’t run away. These people, who act so high and mighty, so spiritually elevated, have somehow constructed a style of cuisine that would justify them eating my Uncle Murray, a man known for sitting still for hours at a time, staring at a TV that is turned off. So the next time you order a salad consider this: Prince told us that doves cry. But what if kale does too?