swap ’em if you got ’em (the morning after mix)

coffee, cigars, and a pint and a half of guiness…

…a typical afternoon in SA with kramer (although apparently the latter isn’t welcomed in the streets of downtown SA so readily – see illustration “A” below)

illustration “A”

(and it should be noted, if you look closely, that TECHNICALLY the last of the beer was already consumed seconds before the shutter clicked, making this neither an infraction on the “consumption” law (as it was already consumed) nor the “open container” law (because with no beer it ceases being an “open container” and simply becomes “trash” so no laws were actually broken in the above illustration)

beer was bought at one of those “hope you locked your car” type convenience stores where the attendant is in a glass cube. she also appeared to speak very little to any english…that is until i used the bottle opener on her friends key chain to open my guiness; THEN she started to freak the fuck out (en englase) and point rapidly over and over at that sign all stores have about it beling illegal to consume alchohol on the premises of where it’s sold. i told her to relax and kept underlining the word “CONSUME” with my finger so she would note that while i had OPENED the beer, i wasn’t DRINKING the beer. this did little to calm her down and i have a feeling i’m not welcome in that store any longer.

…moving on.

i am down in sa to interview reality tv’s latest rising start – kramer, our faithful astrologer. it seems that, against all odds, there are some hippy folk out in el paso, where kramer is astoundingly popular (it should be noted there’s not a lot to do out there) and an upcoming episode of wife swap had him going three for four on readings (it was a cowboy couple on a ranch and the hippy couple – cowboy dad “don’t believe in that shit” from what i’m told) so look for him to cash in five to ten of his fifteen minutes of fame on april 24th on your local abc affiliate. check local listings for show times.

now, we just need to get him on celebrity makeover or whatever will end the michael bolton hair and flamingo pasted shirt he’s wearing across his kitchen island as i’m typing this. honestly, how does that little blonde woman he married in vegas let him out of the house like this?