slide back saturday

first off, happy (last one in your thirties) b-day, JAB!

…secondly, the title has NOTHING to do with JAB. absolutely nothing. and i know those of you who know me read this and hear my voice in your head and as a result this sounds sarcastic, but i SWEAR this has nothing to do with him. i just wanted to get b-day wishes out of the way while i remembered, now on to the bit.

i’m one of those odd guys that’s intentionally offensive. i’ve found that offensive people fall into three categories:

1. UN-intentionally offensive – people who are either clueless of what offends people or so self-absorbed they figure if it doesn’t offend them it shouldn’t offend anybody.

2. intentionally offensive – people who are completely aware that what they say or do might offend you, but honestly don’t care how you feel.

3. accidentally offensive – people who realize they’re offensive, but only moments after they say or do something offensive.

i feel i fall into category “2” – i’ve never offended anybody, to my knowledge, without being unabashedly aware of it…and doing so intentionally. i feel the article behind today’s bit are people in category one. i genuinely think these people are too stupid to realize this would offend somebody.

i bet that lawsuit gets their attention. that’s usually how you convert a “category one” to a “category four”, whereby they now are aware of what they do and therefore become the lost tribe…

4. PRIVATELY offensive – they still engage in offensive actions and conversations and jokes and what-not, but ONLY when all within earshot are “cool”, i.e. “all white”, “all straight”, “all male”, or what have you. also known as “head checkers”, ’cause they do they same head check you’re taught to do in driver’s ed before lane changing, except they do the same move before starting a “two black guys walk into a bar…” joke.

but back to the cracker-ass idiots behind “wigger day”. okay, not quite yet.

is it just me or is there NO offensive term used towards we white folk that seems to get us as riled up as “nigger” does to black folk? latin people have the same reaction to “wetback”. but white people? cracker? honky? “the man”? hell, i even adopted a version of the last one (thephuckingman@yahoo.com) as a fucking alternate email address. plus, with the president being half black (and half white, but that seems to get omitted from the collective conscious of the country) doesn’t that make all black folks “the man” now? where’s MY fucking forty acres and mule?

but i’m digressing here…

even my EOO (equal opportunity offender) ass knows doing a “wigger day” at a high school, regardless of the predominant ethnicity of your faculty, staff, and students is a bad call. sure, it wasn’t “officially sanctioned”. it’s not like it was announced on the school website along with “pizza thursday in the cafeteria” or what have you…but it was well known by the faculty to be coming up, and they didn’t do anything to stop it. i remember when i was in school we had a couple of unsanctioned days and if it was gonna offend anybody the adults came at us and said, “you do this shit, you’ll get hit”. okay, not in those terms, but you get the idea. so where was the faculty’s metaphorical balls?

(“metaphorical” thrown in so nobody posts “in the gym supply closet” – god bless my editor)

the bottom line is they coulda, woulda, shoulda, but didn’t. sure, they outnumber you – but you’re the ADULTS. the prisoners aren’t allowed to run the prison. the crazy’s aren’t allowed to run the asylum. and the student’s shouldn’t be allowed to run the school…and if they are, than you get what you deserve from their immature actions. they’re allowed a certain degree of immaturity…you can be “childish” when you are still, despite the shitty tattoos, botched facial piercings, and hooker-wear that passes for high school wardrobe these days, a child. and the adults our tax dollars pay to be in charge should be legally held accountable. period.