bee patient

oh yeah – i haven’t updated y’all on that bee bullshit at my house, which might have you thinking it’s totally behind me and no longer an issue…

…not the case.

just ask shane – he watched the pups while we were in vegas.

there’s an old expression – “if mohamed can not go to the mountain, then the mountain must go to mohamed”. my buddy mark (pawn shop owner who gets way more of my money then he should for various things like tv’s, guns, watches, chainsaws (he actually gave me that last one), etc) told me about a bee issue around a light pole whereby he just got a bucket full of dish soapy water and threw it on ’em since they were all exposed. my problem has been that i can’t get into the hive without endangering the fuck out of myself…but then came summer.

bees don’t like heat. and texas has a metric fuck ton of it.

we thought our bee population had exploded because, almost overnight, my house had a new bee spot on the bricks where honey was dripping down (it was also dripping down the INTERIOR wall of the house) and outside the “hive hole” it looked like my house was growing a bee beard:

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well, it turns out we didn’t have a massive uptick in population – we had a massive uptick in attic temperature. and bees don’t like that. so they, for lack of a better term, chill on the porch. which means they’re OUT of the fucking protection of the hive and hanging outside. which leaves them exposed. so fuck the super soaker that didn’t do shit – followed mark’s lead and got a bucket and a bigger bottle of dish soap…which was interesting.

if you read the labels of most dish soap they brag about being “sulfate free”. older dish soap contained ammonia sulfate and other nasty shit, which is highly toxic and poisonous and cancer causing and bad. 99% of the dish soap you buy (look for it) says “SULFATE FREE” on the outside of the bottle. but i ain’t looking to make my glasses sparkle – i’m looking to eradicate a bee population – so bring on that shit that says “if you swallow it call poison control NOW so you don’t die!”.

and so now the bee population is down to about 20% of what it was and dropping, at least going off what we see outside the hive:


so we’ll keep going and eventually i’ll put a big ol’ funnel in the hive hole and drop a double dose of demon-fueled water (made from demon pesticide, not ACTUAL demons unless i can find some in the next couple weeks) and that should do it.

we’ll see where this ends up!

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