why daphuk…

…have i not focused more on making my signature “crime idea” legal?

that, of course, being “keyjacking”.

it’s like car jacking, but less cumbersome to get rid of the evidence and less profitable from a monetary stand point. but from a societal point it’s actually beneficial, whereas car jacking isn’t. for all those new to my site, let me explain what this is:

key jacking (v) KEE ja-KING – the act of forcing a driver to surrender their keys, but not their vehicle, usually followed by immediate disposal of said keys down a nearby drain or tossed on top of a near by roof, then followed by scolding of keyjack “victim” for whatever idiotic driving act got them targeted.

an example – i take os to school every morning. rather than sit through the god-awful carpool line at the front of the school, i drop him out back because the way the school is laid out we were all directed to circle the school around their drive way, come out on the street, turn RIGHT into the lane, and drop off the kids…but 99% of most mornings i pull over in the back of the school, he jumps out, and then i take off, breezing right by the lane, and heading straight out the the street and off to the intersection. it saves gas from me idling through the line, and in my eyes helps out my parents because, hey – who doesn’t want one less car in that line?

what’s retarded is at least two or three days a week parents blow through the stop sign leaving the carpool lane and cut me off. why daphuk do that? endanger yourself? your kids? to get one fucking car up on the line at the intersection? if i didn’t care about my car i’d just keep rolling and hit ’em. get a new car out of it, and prove their stupidity all in one throw.

today was worse – i dropped him off, went out in the street, and took off…and then had to screech to a halt when some dumb bitch sat and waited till i got good and close and then made a slow (NOTE: idle speed) left in front of me, basically throwing the passenger door where her fucking kid was right in my line of fire. i shoulda honked, but was shocked at the reckless disregard for her kids life.

now why is it NOT legal for me to take her keys, hurl ’em into a field, and tell her dumb ass to walk home? kid’s already at school – and better off walking home versus being driven in a car with somebody who’s driving is that shitty. i’m telling you, this NEEDS to be legal!