how daphuk…

…do i still have a bee issue?

i’m wondering the same fucking thing.

seriously…

…last time i had a bee issue (pre-“save the bees” era) i just blasted it two mornings in a row with a super-soaker full of dish soap and water (google it – it works) after a full can of wasp & hornet spray didn’t. after two mornings? *poof* – no more bees. the bee rescue hippies i spoke to recently said you THINK that works, but they come back…

…well that was eleven years ago, motherfuckers – how long should i wait?

these bees are a different story.

what’s weird is i know it’s not some strain that’s immune to the mighty destruction of apple berry twist gain (i actually went out in the kitchen to make sure i got that right…sue me, i like apple scented shit). on the odd occasion a bee has gotten in the house if i don’t wanna re-release it all i have to do is turn on and off lights (they flock to them like loud buzzing moths) until i get them hovering over the pendant light over our sink…where the dish soap is. i make sure the lid on the bottle is open and go to bed. the next morning i have a dead bee either in the sink or on the window ledge above the sink…the shit is THAT powerful against them.

so how the fuck did i blast it twice last thursday, three times on friday, again on saturday and sunday, twice on monday, and three times on tuesday and NADA? they’re still just buzzing along like nothing happened! i don’t even see dead bees on the ground from where maybe a few fell off with it. my guess is the hive is better protected this time around – the opening is smaller, and a direct shot is blocked by tree branches.

so i guess the next step is to carefully, and without motorized equipment since that really sets them off, remove the tree branches. from there i should be able to blast straight in, and i’ll increase my soap to water ratio (one post i read even said to just mix the soap with mountain dew to guarantee it stuck, but since i’m using a super soaker i’m afraid that would gum up the fucking thing). last friday a couple (thankfully ONLY a couple) of the little fuckers went after me while i tried to mow the FRONT yard…and i was nowhere near the hive or even the house – i was up near the street and my front yard is pretty fucking big!

so again, it’s not a question of IF this needs to happen, just HOW it’s gonna happen. but how daphuk are they still alive at this point? time to get medieval on their asses!