every now and again having the obvious pointed out to you can not only be validating, but down-right pleasing…
…although i’m not sure if “pleasing” is the right word.
i almost put “satisfying” but i felt that would sound like i was happy others weren’t, which is not the case.
in the course of writing this a reality kinda hit me – what makes a happy marriage for us doesn’t necessarily mean it works for everybody. it works for me, it works for her, and that’s why this works – we both seem happy with the same type of relationship, but this same relationship might make others miserable.
originally this was gonna be the sunday sixer, but again i realized something – just ’cause it’s good for us doesn’t mean it’s good for everybody. my tastes DO tend to vary off the conventional.
a friend of mine once told me a good marriage was “finding somebody who will put up with your shit and you’re able to put up with theirs”. i think this is a sad level of settling. sue me, i think you should actually make the other person happy. dopey me.
and i guess this is where i feel like maybe i’m confused; when i hooked up with the ufc it made me happy that all my previous relationship drama had happened and that all the previous attempts had crashed and burned…for two reasons:
1. it taught me how NOT to have a relationship
2. it meant i was single so we could hook up
it might be that we’re still in the “honeymoon phase” or what have you, but i have yet to go off about something she did at home at the shop. i don’t cringe when she calls or texts. and i don’t look at other people contemplating marriage and say, “learn from my fucking mistake!”. and i have lots of other married friends who do any or all of the above.
i hope we never get there.
i do have some happy married friends…some for several years. i never hear them speak ill of their spouse. i never see them mumble, “well, fuck…” when they see them pop up on caller i.d.. and i think i’m gonna model my shit after THOSE motherfuckers. it’s good to have goals – and i feel that’s a better one to shoot for.