it’s amazing – for all the variations in my friend’s backgrounds, and lifestyles, and criminal records they all have a first “go-to” question when talking to me these days…
“so…how’s married life?”
my standard answer?
“same as single life, except i can’t call her the ‘wifey-to-be’ any more…”
but we’ve made it through our first post-nuptual fiscal quarter, let’s analyze where we’re at like any good corporation:
we still live in a box fort
it’s not like progress hasn’t been made, but the office (and more so, the studio) are far from in a happy place. why? because life happens and we both take our days off to relax…the fact we’re both procrastinators doesn’t help. but considering the studio was pretty impassable from when i cleaned out my grandma’s house (fall 2011) to when the ufw moved in (summer 2014) only for it to be RE-filled within mere hours of being “clean” i clearly can deal with it for a while, as can she considering i saw stuff still packed when we moved her out (summer 2014) that had been there since she moved in (fall 2012). our plan (theory?) is for all to be good by fall of 2015, which will be the next time anybody will be over for any significant time…we don’t entertain much, save for ourselves.
some traditions never die
when we lived apart my wifey called every day on her way home ’cause she got shit reception in her apartment AND she liked us being able to chat freely versus having her son listening in. now we’re married…and the call still happens every day she works, as do texts every morning. and for that matter…
psycho bunnies ain’t got nothing on us
and i don’t mean this one:
that’s a clothing brand out of nyc that happily charges $50 for a KIDS polo. no, i mean the other bunny cliche. maybe we’re still in the honeymoon phase, but she is the girl that inspired me to make the e-card:
hell, we even have puppy unity
it’s been almost a year and budnik is ALMOST accepting the fact he has to share his dad. almost. it’s funny – when copper died in the winter of 2013 i had several people postulate i should get another puppy…give budnik somebody to pal around with and hang with when i wasn’t home. i said we would wait for the ufw (the the ufc) to move in because she came with her own dog (puck, aka “puckles”) and i didn’t want three…i also wasn’t sure that budnik would wanna share his dad with a new dog, especially a puppy that would need lots of love and physical attention…
…i think i made the right call.
he’ll still bark occasionally when i hug the ufw, and he gets pretty jealous if puck cuddles up near me, but overall the two dogs get along great and play nice together, which was one of nik’s biggest concerns.
i have no idea how much my wifey makes or spends. i don’t wanna. she has no idea how much i make or spend. she don’t wanna. i know financial concerns or questions or issues can stress marriages, so we have understandings on how the monthlies are handled and whatever’s left is left and spent or saved as the person who got the money sees fit. we’ve take a “blissfully ignorant finance plan” approach and it seems to be working nicely. why? for one simple reason…
in past relationships i’ve felt like i’ve played the role of guidance councilor, surrogate parent, mentor, or sex toy (i was kinda okay with that last one). but i never felt like i had an actual PARTNER, like we were on equal footing and were actually in a 50/50 split. now i do…and i’d like to think that happiness that i get from our relationship is radiated outward and reciprocated her way as a result. and if not? fuck it – i’m happy!