a little bedroom bit NOT about going 3-4-3

i don’t need to send shane to therapy or nothing…

…there’s better ways to do that coming up on august 20th. yeah, motherfucker, you know what i’m saying.

moving on…

so about a week ago i got to build the biggest set of legos i’ve ever built. it wasn’t actually made by the lego folk, but rather by the sleep number folk, and it’s what counts as a box spring for those folks. kinda fun, kinda creepy. it does look like a giant set of legos:

(it should be noted this pic is pulled from google and not my actual room, lest you think i have a sleigh bed OR pay black folks to do my chores for me…)

from there we put a cover on it that makes it look like a normal box spring (don’t ask, i don’t know why) and then you assemble the mattress (which i’m still not sure we did right due to some odd plastic bits) and then viola, you have a sleep number bed.

my back thanked me…for at least a few days.

it’s odd – because it has two chambers that you set independently and your body offsets some of the air (sleep number beds are basically just automatic air mattresses bell grande) when your partner leaves there side it basically is left a deflated mess…which means the second the ufc or i get out of bed the other of us rolls to the center – my lower back tries to counter act this, but as i’ve been averaging going to the gym ONCE a week instead of my usual three to four times i woke up this morning in an uncomfortable place.

i’ll have to fix that by getting back into the gym, i suppose…which i needed to do anyway.

as for the old mattress, a “co-purchase” with a former, it basically broke down price wise like this:

vera wang plush eurotop queen set

MSRP: $4,000.00
Sam’s: $2,750.00

(sam’s club couldn’t sell it, so they returned it, where it somehow qualified for…)

serta
employee
price: $300.00

(which was halved with me for a total investment of $150.00)

and that was four summers ago, so i figured it probably still had some life in it, but it had started to really sink in lately so we decided to build the sleep number bed the ufc moved in a bit ahead of our initial schedule. i still wanted to sell it on craigslist, because due to that MSRP of $4K i figured we could at least get a couple hundred bucks for it, but the ufc pointed out (and accurately so) that SELLING somebody the right to have the kind of back discomfort we’d had the last couple of days we’d owned it could be a karmic nightmare, plus i don’t think it would have been worth the maintenance…

…let me explain that last statement:

there had a been a time or two where i had started sheets washing on a friday only to come home to wiped out to deal with making up the bed when i’d gotten home, and then the ufc would come visit that night or saturday, so there were some sex stains to deal with. couple that with the fact that copper had, a couple years ago, cut a paw and to chill her out i’d pulled her up in bed with me, but no sheets were on it that night, either, so now we’re talking about a big, thick as hell (between the box spring and mattress it was twenty-seven inches thick) mattress set covered in sex stains and bloody paw prints. only thing to do with that – throw it out by the curb.

even though it was last friday, and trash wouldn’t be picked up till the following thursday, that’s what i did.

but just to keep the neighbor rumor mill at bay i put the mattress in a mattress bag from u-haul we’d used to bring the foam topper for the sleep number bed (the only part of the bed that’s actual size) so said stains were covered…which might explain why the mattress was GONE when the ufc left the house the next day to go to the store. somebody decided it just HAD to be theirs!

i can’t help but wonder if that changed once they got that bag off it.

fuck it – it was out of our place, and we didn’t charge anybody for back pain so no karmic debt…that, my friends, is win/win!