true or false?

sometimes the legends about yours truly are more entertaining than the reality…

…at least, sometimes they entertain me more than the reality.

so, i thought it would be fun to throw down six stories about myself and see if you can spot the real from the fakes. well, some stories, some statements – you get the idea:

1) i’m a junkie ninja

i once pulled an eviction* on a guy while he was passed out in his tattoo station from too much heroin without waking him and when he finally woke up all that was left was the desk he was slumped on and the chair he was in and a note from me that said “pay me and you can have your shit back, asshole – xoxo, sean”

*an “eviction” is when somebody needs to be let go from the shop but owes the owners money so i go into their station when they’re not around and seize all their shit, from tattoo equipment to laptops to framed art and hold it in storage until said balance is satisfied

2) i have friends in fun places

i befriended eddie griffin at an acl after party while drinking with mike mills (r.e.m. bass player) and ended up being his run around partner for a couple weeks getting in various shenanigans with him, jacob vargas (now on sons of anarchy), harry dean stanton, dwight yokum, luke wilson, eva mendes, etc, etc and this all cumlinated with three sold out stand up shows where i got paid $5K in cash at the end of it all.

3) hell, at least it’s a short list

thanks to a dare from shane i am banned for life from any shrine circus in the country after peeing on a clown because we had too much to drink on the way there…

(shane, you’re not allowed to chime in on this one)

4) i coulda been zombified!

there was a time i convinced rob zombie to draw my next tattoo, but he prefers to sketch in pencil and all that was available back stage was sharpies and by the time we located a pencil his road manager came in and told him he needed to go…stupid management!

5) my junk ain’t on vh1

back in 1990’s a local guitarist named ian moore had a show on vh1 – he knew me due to my radio history, and approached me on 6th street to ask “what i was doing out and about in austin today?” – my response? “i just got my dick pierced!”. and cut. as in cut the take on the camera and i wasn’t put on the show, not my dick got cut. ouch. that would suck.

and finally…

6) no hashtag needed!

back in the early days, if you went to google and did a search for “midget rodeo clown porn” the first thing that popped up was this site due to a bit that referenced a fake movie i made up called “lil’ bozo’s big top booty romp”

so – know what’s real and what’s not here?