the seventh sinning stretch

at the stroke of midnight to START my birthday, i was at la zona rosa with josh watching a grown man put his face in broken glass as a rather fetching, busty young woman plucked from the audience stepped on the back of his head; twenty-four hours later i was watching the last few moments of my birthday tick away as…well…honestly i couldn’t see ANYTHING because my face was enveloped in a pair of sizeable breasts that have graced the pages of both hustler and playboy…(pic of her available on request)

remember, there WAS only one of the deadly sins left to go last night; that being LUST.

think i maybe kinda achieved it at sugar’s?

yeah, you could say that…but that was the END of that night.

the booze started flowing at 6:00, and didn’t stop. i had been requested to drink a margarita “for” someone who could not do so that evening. then she said make it two. or maybe three. all with midori floaters. well, after her two AND my two (we split the last one..but keep in mind she wasn’t REALLY there in person, just in spirit, so it was actually me polishing off all FIVE rounds) i was feeling pretty good. pretty DAMN good. kathi and kramer had long since bailed to head off for their plans for the night when i calmly, and somewhat slowly, headed to the car to go meet up with james at the studio.

i walked in just in time for him to do his last break…i signaled to my mic to try and get him to turn it on, and he refuesed. so much like the ozzy self portrait on the back of the ball cap i was wearing that evening, i started giving him both fingers relentlessly. it took all of ten seconds of this and my mic was hot; my birthday tradition of saying, “hi” to austin via the 101x airwaves remains in tact.

then, it was off to sugar’s…

blondes, and brunettes, and redheads, oh MY!!!

okay, so only ONE of each for me that night. no…wait.two blondes if you count the one who had the awesome celtic knot tattoo on her back that i went up to go tip and talk ink with until she decided my right nipple (and the barbell therein) were her personal chew toy. THAT sobers you up REALLY quickly. hardly fair..HERS were pierced, too; but i didn’t get to bite back.

then, when deanna came over (the aforementioned redhead who’s about four feet of legs, and a good friend i hadn’t seen in about four months) we were joined by my favorite half puerto rican girl (and you can tell which half, too; those latina perky nipples (non-pierced..why mess with perfection?) are nice, but there is no bigger turn-on for me than a nice, round, toned, lucious latina ass that puts j-Lo to shame coupled with some thick, muscular latina thighs…again, all friends of mine from when i used to frequent the place more often with james. think we may need to institute that again; where were we? oh yeah…”so deanna came over…”) to wish me a happy b-day in her own, special way, and she decided to re-institute HER tradition of showing my chest jewelry some tough love but noticed when she touched the right one i flinched (due to it’s blonde ambition tour a half hour before) so she had to calm her typical behavior (at least where my chest was concerned) down a bit.

i don’t know what it is with my chest, nipple rings, and strippers. they all REALLY seem to like ‘em. i guess it’s cause their chests are focused on so much that when they find a large (51?), pierced, muscular set of pecs they can play with, their all over it. NOT that i’m complaining, of course. but they can feel and bite on me and i can’t reciprocate? NOW i understand why guys going to these places baffles their girlfriends. a happy birthday ending none the less, and the “lust-bug” was satisfied to round out the perfect seven sin thang. but after three nights in a row of four or less hours of sleep, this kid needs to go down for the count EARLY this evening…

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