the rapture is coming! where’s my produce?

forgive me if i’ve hit on this one before…

…but this bugged the ass outta me earlier this week.

when i moved into this town (thirty years ago this last september) there were eight thousand people and four grocery stores – eagle, super s, wuest’s, and h.e.b.. now it’s three decades and two bushes later and we have around thirteen thousand people and one grocery store.

that’s right – one. does that seem a bit fucked up to you?

now i’ll grant you, the one we have could fit three of the old ones inside it…but that is SO not the point. the problem arises when we’re either facing harsh weather (which could mean the unplanned closing of our lone store) or, even worse, an impending holiday, meaning the GUARANTEED closing of our lone store. twenty-four hours with no grocery access? how on earth will we get by?

here’s what i don’t get…the average person, regardless of marital status, income, race, religion, or sexual preference doesn’t hit the grocery store EVERY day. doesn’t happen. unless you work there, or work for someone who delivers there, it’s just not your day-to-day haunt. you run out of shit, you go. you have a craving, you go. but every day? not bloody likely…

…so what’s the big deal with having to skip a thursday this week? chances are you would have anyway…i mean, this is the last friday of the month, most people would get paid this week regardless of thursday being a holiday, so what’s the fucking problem? what’s worse is friday will be bad as well as people bum rush the store to get what they thought of on thursday but couldn’t get their hands on…so now they’re REALLY jonesing.

but the worst thing was i KNEW today would be bad. fucking knew it. it would be the unhappy union of the people who are shit-house panicked because thursday was a holiday combined with people who wanted the ingredients for their special-recipe cornbread and spinach stuffing casserole or whatever to be the absolute freshest. the latter group i respect – but it’s the former that made our super market look like some cnn shot of a florida store hours before the hurricane makes land fall.

and the real kicker was this…

it’s hard to read because the door was permanently open from all the in and out traffic…but it says they’re actually OPEN on thanksgiving – so no need to panic…if only they could read.

and i went on MONDAY – it still was nut slammed. what the hell?!? anybody else witness this level of bullshit?