duck dicks and lil’ kids

how’s that for the perfect “twice on hump day” title?

or will it get anybody who reads the bit on some kind of government list?

i suppose time will tell.

i hadn’t done a “twice on hump day” bit in a while, where i squeeze two little bits into one on wednesday, so i’ll go ahead and get that going…and then hopefully i can go get it twice on hump day!

at least it’s not a china man named after a duck’s dork, i suppose – but still pretty stupid. i was in the gym and they were commenting on government spending run amuck and stupid…”they” being your typical cnn talking heads that sit and criticize the lawmakers and such in what i call the last stage of poli-life. “poli-life” is my term for those in politics…usually it comes in three parts:

1. attachment phase – lower level gig, maybe an internship, where you brag that you’re “[insignificant title here] for [famous politician or their title goes here]”. example: “i’m the intern for the mayor’s publicist”. note: the more steps between you and “the name” the less likely you’ll ever get above this stage.

2. you da’ (wo)man phase – you get an office of your own, no matter how small, to get the political ball rolling. maybe an alderman or school board? again, the lower the post or smaller the pond the less likely you’ll see phase three.

3. remember when phase – you get ousted or tired of the bullshit or just flat-out unpopular, the book you write about it all (or have written for you) does okay, and after a talk show or two you miss the camera and decide to become a cnn commentator or regular with bill maher, or something.

well, these guys were commenting on the spending and found a HALF MILLION DOLLAR study paid for by the american people at the evolution of water fowl genitalia. yeppers – $500,000.00 to look at how duck dicks have changed over the years. if i paid taxes i’d be pissed – and seeing as how i need to settle up with those guys this year, i kinda am.

i ain’t a perderass it just looks that way – i went by a demolished mcdonald’s the other day…seems like all the ones in austin are slowly getting killed off for these new mcafe ones where they’re more “adult” looking. and most are losing their playscapes – i saw the wreckage of the playscape outside and wondered “i wonder if i could re-assemble that in my backyard and make it work” the logic behind said thought being the ufc’s nine year old boy oz. but then i realized it what it looked like with a grown man, who has no kids in the house, having a bright colorful playscape in the backyard.

i see me like this:

the public would see this:

sad what society’s become ain’t it?