two reasons i might be on the right path here

Author: Published: November 12, 2008 0 comments

okay, i’m thirty-seven, never been married, never had kids, and i’m straight…

(i have to add that last part in due to the amount of time i spend in and around austin, texas)

the first part i can’t help (mom and dad got a box of cheap wine, a box of cheap condoms, and here i be), the latter gets me weird looks (what? i’m single with a goose egg of divorces versus some of you shooting for marriage two or three and I’M the one who’s fucked up?) and then there’s the kid thing…

…which in a few ways i want, and in a growing number of ways i don’t. time will tell – i’ll spare you the details. but here’s two good reasons why kids don’t belong in this world, so me adding another is just me adding to the problem, right?

damn, look at her fly

back in the day there were two types in any breakdancing crew – the nimble, agile, rhythmically gifted dancers and the fat kid with the radio…

…i was the fat kid with the radio. later the fat kid on the radio. now i’m just the fat kid that listens to the radio. never mind all that now.

hey, fat ass may be (or was) at least i never launched a kid for distance…

cock and bull high school

and if this is true, it only goes to prove EVERYTHING they say about stupid law suits, stupid parents, and california in general. this was sent to me…

SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

This is hilarious – no wonder some people were offended! Probably the worst offenders. This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School ( California ) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did d not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

‘Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection.

* To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

* To complain about what we do – Press 3

* To swear at staff members – Press 4

* To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

* If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8

* To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

* To complain about school lunches – Press 0

* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

* If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.

too fucking classic!

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