new olympic shit and old family shit (a happy medium fecal bit?)

hey, say what you want, at least there’s no corn to be seen in this bit…

…at least not in the literal sense.

okay, so i did a bit on the summer olympics and how it kinda sucks. i don’t back down from that. i do, however, regret missing the intro with the queen. my mom was named “elizabeth”, my grandmother was birthed from very proper english parents (upper class folk – google “luton hoo” and you’ll see what should be my “ancestral home” on mom’s side). i always, as a kid, figured Moms was named after the queen, but as she was a tween by the time the ol’ bird was through her coronation i dare say it was pure coincidence.

so goes my family history – i THINK i have it figured out and chronology comes into play. kinda like when i tell people about how i might be related to my boss as his last name is “edwards”, he got it in a convoluted way, and is from the twin cities area of minnesota; as is my family, and they got the name in a convoluted way. when i explain how we got it, because some guy was running up bad debts under the same name as my grandfather, the common response is, “don’t be stupid – they’d go off his social security number, idiot!”

hey dumb ass – here’s two facts you should know:

1. the first social security number wasn’t issued till 1936, when my grandfather was in his 30’s, and it’s not like instantly EVERYBODY got one.

2. social security numbers weren’t used as a “credit check” item until the mid-nineties, when my grandfather had already been in the ground for over two decades.

so there you go…

but any way – i do regret missing the intro with her majesty, as she NEVER appears in comedy bits, and that was a once in a lifetime occurence. i dare say when andrew takes the helm it won’t be as big a deal – but liz is the last of the old guard, and it’s nice to see her loosen up a bit in her golden years.

two things i have noticed, being one of those throngs in a bar who’s watching sports i’d typically never watch on a dare in the name of supporting my country in the olympic games:

(okay, more accurately, i’m watching sports i normally wouldn’t watch because i wanted a fucking drink, it’s what was on, and i don’t really give a fuck enough to ask them to change the channel…plus the “women” events (i’ll explain the quotes in a sec) tend to draw the female bar/restaurant staff around, which gives me a bit of the eye candy when i’m watching and drinking, which doesn’t hurt.

as promised – two quick observations about “women’s” gymnastics and swimming, in order of appearance:

1. how can you call it “women’s” gymnastics when none of the participants could be tried as an adult in any civilized country? (i.e. even though they have asses like a thoroughbred they’re all jail bait?)

2. is it just me or does every “woman” swimmer look like she was probably born a dude?

okay, that’s it for now…