ask for room #204

i had an interesting three day weekend…

…it’s had a little of everything.

sex, drugs, rock n’ roll…chips, dips, chains, whips. i’m not talking candle wax on the nipples or anything, just your typical…

…wait – i believe i’ve said to much. let’s start over.

i hadn’t taken a day off since new years. true story. i mean, it’s not like i work seven days a week, and it’s not like when i do it’s physical labor. but it’s mentally taxing, and for as broke as i am i figure i should have some time off now and then…

…and this was well timed.

my non-girlfriend’s sister was on the verge of prego-pop and they decided it was time, so she was rushed into seton on thursday night – which is the austin hospital my family has a history with. my grandfather was the head obgyn when it opened (and room 204 is dedicated in his memory, hence the title of this bit). my grandmother was on the board. she, as well as my grandfather AND my mom AND my other grandmother have all “done time” there for various health issues.

so, yeah, i know the place.

cute kid – born friday afternoon around 2pm (and named ethan…what would it take to name a kid “steve” or “john” these days? although i gotta admit, i kinda like the name “ethan”…and not just ’cause his very proud aunt is reading over my shoulder as i’m typing this). but it was cool i had the day off to “witness” the blessed event…

notice the word in quotes?

there’s a reason…you can’t witness jack. not that i needed to. i guess, if through some weird, lotto-style number flipping i end up a parent, i’ll be there to witness for real. but if it ain’t my kid, that’s not a show i need to attend. don’t even need to see the highlights on video later. no need for the play-by-play.

but the level they afford these women is just retarded.

don’t get me wrong – in the day of the patriot act and shit i guess it’s nice to see SOME things are kind of sacred. that’s a good thing. but to not tell a woman whether or not her grandbaby was born? to not tell her how her own daughter is doing? that’s just fucking stupid.

perhaps it’s just me.

i got lucky – i thought it was odd that the entire family was sitting at bay, fifty yards from the delivery room (kinda cool – they deliver IN your room unless you get a c-section) like they were being held at bay by armed guards. i was confused…we speak english, the nurses speak english, she’s THEIR daughter / sister / whatever; just go fucking ask.

and knowing me as you do, shame-free and all, you know i had to go ask.

“we can’t tell you anything…” was the response i got more than twice over. until i said…

sure is a lot different now than it was back in the day when my grandfather ran things here…

that got attention from an older nurse, who it turns out worked with him, and all of a sudden i was part of the “insider’s club” who gets the info, which i then passed along.

who knew you had to have an “in” to get that kind of info?

it’s not like we were kidnappers…it’s not like we were going to sell pictures of the newborn to ok magazine. we just wanted to know the girl was aiiiight. what’s the big secret?

shoulda known when i conned our way past security an hour after visiting hours were over (“we have to get snacks to a pregnant woman – STAT!”) the night before i’d have the touch during crunch time…