bath day has a whole new twist

i wasn’t gonna write about this, ’cause it’s kinda been done to death…

…but there are certain product warning labels out there we don’t pay attention to, and with good reason, that sometimes bite us in the ass. sometimes literally.

yeah, you KNOW what i’m talking about.

i thought it was a joke when i first heard the whole “bath salts” bullshit…but thanks to the natgeo channel i knew what they meant. for felons and probates and other “gotta piss test and failure ain’t an option” folks weed can’t be done, but is missed. for this they use shit called “spice” or “k2” or other non-weed stuff that’s still supposed to get you high, but due to it not being one of the “forbidden” substances won’t make you pee dirty. to get around their actual purposes they’re labeled “bath salts” (i don’t know anybody who would ever bathe in them, and don’t know anybody who would ever wanna smell like this) and therefore are “not for human consumption” which legally might absolve them from any lawsuit nightmare due to all this bad press.

brilliant, or so i would guess. just like the bongs that say they’re “just for tobacco” and you aren’t supposed to call them “bongs”.

i have two felonious friends who’ve tried it – and i should quickly add not just so i could write this bit. whenever a human guinea pig is needed for this site there’s only one person i know foolish enough to fill the role – me. but as luck would have it they did this one for me, so i didn’t have to. both say it wasn’t as good as the real thing, both say it tasted like bum’s taint, and both stopped within one or two uses deciding that reality was better than that bullshit…

…or so they claimed. i know at least one of them actually stopped ’cause long before all the face-eating zombie hype all this shit was banned in texas. but one of the “test subjects” in this experiment i didn’t even plan did report having a slightly hallucinogenic experience that was “kinda weird and fucked up”. but his girl still has a face, so i guess it wasn’t THAT fucked up.

basic synopsis – minimal desired effect, questionable side effects, and shitty taste – kinda like fast food, and that’s killed lots more folks and is still perfectly legal. this is one fucked up country we live in…