one little, two little, SIX little bits

okay, this is getting ridiculous…

…it’s (checks watch) five in the evening on saturday, january 28th as i’m writing this. it’s not even february and i’m about to get started on bits for MAY? that seems like i’m getting a bit TOO ahead of myself, and while i could probably expand one or two of these into full bits of their own, i’m at the shop and feeling lazy; plus, i kinda owe you since i punked out on the tax day sixer, so here we go:

six little bits that coulda been there own, or not…

6. white people going backwards, part i – i don’t know what this generation is thinking sometimes. and i know teenagers can be “cruel”. but forcing a black kid at knife point to put a noose around his neck ’cause he’s dating a white girl? and in chicago no less? what the fuck is this country coming to? hell, maybe it’ll be good if the reset button gets hit in a few months…

5. is there anything it CAN’T do? – we know it makes breakfast better, potatoes better, and burger better…but did you know bacon can make a bloody nose better? apparently true. it is a magical meat, isn’t it? that was my nickname in college, ya’ know…

4. nap time might run a little long, i reckon – a four year old in connecticut whipped out NINE small bags of weed at day care the other day saying he “had snacks”. no, buddy – those bags aren’t snacks, they just necessitate snacks. put this in the “what the fuck is this world coming to?” category, i suppose.

3. proof that whiskey is the true mother of invention – in con air dave chappelle commented “it’s amazing the shit you white trash know”. even more amazing what we irish folk can come up with. i see the economic and social statement of the project, but i’ve never drank enough to be THAT easily entertained. perhaps a goal for the next bbq?

2. white people going backwards, part ii – i should add “sorta” to the title of this one, ’cause i don’t know if i agree. the article talked about how a teacher used “slavery in math equations”. but the sample question just talked about “if frederick got two beatings a day, how many did he get per week?” appropriate? no. but SLAVERY? i don’t know about all that, unless there’s some part of the question that wasn’t on their visual.

1. just so you know i have an original thought now and then – you probably noticed every one of these referenced some other internet news, which i seem to be doing quite a bit of lately and need to try and move away from. just to close on a more “me” note, i found this in the bowels of a camera phone and have no idea why i felt the need to save it:

any way you slice or dice it, somebody in my home town had an ugly vehicle and way too much time on their hands, so they decided to make a SUPER fuckin’ ugly vehicle. can we get stuff declared non-street legal just for ugliness? hey – never hurts to ask…