a threesome? on a tuesday? what are the odds?

Author: Published: October 19, 2010 0 comments

okay, so the title implies my life is going different than it actually is…

…not that i didn’t get laid today, you understand – it was just by a woman that’s just as fun as two. but never mind that now. this is three lil’ bits to tide you over till thursday till i come up with some kind of drivel to fill these pages again:

and i hope i pass the audition…

trying to find a writing gig i noticed that a hell of a lot of the ads ask for a writing sample. sending in whore bits wasn’t getting me anywhere, so i started sending this:
You know what’s funny about writing gigs?

They ask for writing samples like this one.

I guess all journalistic jobs do this. If you go for a radio job, they ask for demos – if it’s production they want to hear commercials and imaging, if it’s for on-air they ask for samples of your on-air persona…which I always thought was awesome – nobody cares if you’re a complete jerk-off in real life; as long as your “on-air persona” was cool so were you. You’re literally paid to be schizophrenic. How can you go wrong?

Moving on…

TV jobs would want to see a tape of how you do on-air as well. For production gigs, they don’t tend to do this, unless it’s a camera position. If you have a good eye and work camera they want to know. Nobody looking to fill a teleprompter position wants to know you can scroll a mean teleprompter.

Which is more the case with other gigs – if you go for a bar tending job they don’t make you pour drinks at your interview. Likewise, if you go for a waiting position they don’t make you go ask somebody what they want or refill their water or expo out a salad – they just trust you can do all this. Hell, even tattoo artists, who permanently alter people’s bodies for a living, don’t have to do a demo tattoo to get their job – they just come in with pictures they SAY they did…and get hired. I’ll grant you, if they can’t live up to the pictures I figure they don’t last too long, and possibly end up beaten up in the alley behind the shop – but they at least GET the job.

But writing gigs? You actually have to show your personality and grammatical abilities doing samples like this. How is that fair?

and still, no interviews – maybe i shoulda used the word “fuck” a few more times? i thought that was what was wrong with the whore bits…

okay, so i lied, i guess – too much tequila tonight equals not remembering the secondary bit here. that’s just sad. but i CAN remember how i wanted to wrap up, so it’s just a twosome rather than a threesome – which if the two know what the fuck they’re doing (pun intended) can be just as fun…if not more so. moving on…

for all you people who emailed wanting me to put some halloweenish pics up:

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