fuct up friday (in many senses of the frase)

Author: Published: October 15, 2010 0 comments

so it’s 11:05pm and i forgot to do a bit today…

…so you get a flashback, but it’s a cool sixer – fair? lord knows i could use a drink after the day i’ve had, so:

purple haze, all in my brain…
by sean ~ January 29th, 2004. Filed under: Uncategorized.
okay, FUCK leg day…

yesterday was a HYDRANT DAY!!!

(if you know what i’m saying and i think you do…)

i was SUPPOSED to go down to san marcos and get some work done, but that just didn’t happen. i was even gonna at least make it to san marcos to get a drink or two to calm my frazzled nerves after all that dragged me through the mud that day – ya know, the kind of day that not only knocks you to the ground, but then won’t stop kicking no matter WHAT you do.

but i never made it to san marcos. i fell into the purple haze…

now, i wanna apologize to any of you who recieved a call from me after around 10:00 pm last night. wednesday is hump day, but the day did more than just HUMP me…it violently raped me. started off when i got in the car first thing and found out my headset had been snapped in two the night before, so i couldn’t use my phone while i drove very easily. then there was bank drama. then work stress.

and finally, i end up at baby a’s with my little purple friend. then all was well.

okay, not “well” in the legal to drive home sense of the word, but well enough. i felt content. alchohol-induced bliss can be a good thing. but i can think of at least one sign that i probably should have stayed in austin last night instead of making the 35+ mile journey home. hell, i can think of SIX of them…

1. early into my rousing rendition of hungry like the wolf i pointed out that the lyrics on the screen weren’t **even** close to being right. the bartender then pointed out that it wasn’t a karaoke screen, but was the houston / sacramento game on espn and what i was seeing was the close captioning. he was curious where i got the mic, though…

2. this started out as a “top 10? list, but when i opened up the napkin today, i could only read five of them (so i had to make that fact the sixth)

3. i started making bets on the game on tv early in the evening, only to find out that we were watching the highlights of other games during the houston half time and everyone already knew the outcome…except me.

4. i was midway through my lap dance (and really quite enjoying it) when the manager came over to complain. i pointed out that i already had my $20 on the table, so she knew i was good for it, and there shouldn’t be a problem. he pointed out that i was in a mexican restaurant and NOT a titty bar. he then asked me to let go of his waitress and asked her to put her clothes back on. on the upside, i think i’m now engaged…

5. about to cruise out of the parking lot…lovely girl by my side…van halen cranked on the stereo in the truck…and then it hit me…I DON’T DRIVE A TRUCK. and i didn’t know this girl. the guy who’s truck it was, who was in the middle of walking around the back after letting his girl in when i hopped in the driver’s seat was equally confused. suprisingly, he took this all in stride.

6. when i finally made it halfway home, and got pulled over by mustang ridge police, the cop said, “sir, i’ve pulled you over for suspicion of drunk driving…”, and i responded, “well no SHIT!!!”

and as a bonus, i now know that astrowhore.org does NOT come up blocked on the computer in the caldwell county drunk tank…

(you folks DO know i make most of this shit up for your amusement, right???)

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