two polls for hump day

sadly, neither of these polls is mine…

…both come off the internet or magazine articles. kind of like some of my friend’s “girlfriends”. but never mind that now – ’cause it’s ironic that austin got…

most sexually active city in the country!

at least according to men’s health magazine…their formula (condom sales, birth rates, sex toy sales, rate of STDs) had my birthplace and main stomping ground number one out of the top 100 cities for a guy to get lucky in. oddly, nawleans ranked 46th (bet that spikes during mardis gras, just the rest of the year drops ’em), miami 88th, and proving what happens in vegas STAYS in vegas they tapped in at number SEVENTY.

actually, those three are typically looked at as places to go GET laid – and i bet the survey was about residents, which wouldn’t be counted amongst us drunken bar stumblers, would it? and as most vegas tourists fuck OTHER vegas tourists, and not the locals, and the same could be said about miami and new orleans, it makes sense austin got the crown – we fuck each other, by god!

(although i HAVE tried to loop san antonio in where i could – probably helping them hit number fifteen on the list)

i was still kind of surprised (and this isn’t news to anybody in the austin area with facebook as i had this article sent to me no less than SEVENTEEN times from various friends, in addition to the ones that sent via email suggesting i put it on here – scarily some people did BOTH) – and for all you FB heads, get off your damn computers and go get some so we can repeat our top slot next year!

moving on – i was uber-surprised we didn’t get the top slot in…

the most tattooed cities in america

this was only a top ten, versus the top 100 of the previous poll – and while i WAS surprised austin ranked above el a, honolulu, san fran, and (ahem?) kansas city, i was SHOCKED we didn’t make the top five. while the sex poll seemed to have a little math behind the rankings it appears (from what the article gets at) that this poll simply measured tattoo shops per capita, not necessarily the most tattooed – we were number six (WHAT THE FUCK?) but some of the towns that beat us (vegas & miami, which ranked two and on, respectively) make sense – SHIT TONS of tourists, not as many locals, and it’s an industry that will cater to the out of town folk. i GET them beating us if they just look at a tattoo shops per local resident basis – but how the fuck did we lose out to richmond, virginia? flint, michigan? or portland, oregon?

guess in those cities there’s simply nothing else to do other than mark yourself up permanently, and use the pain to escape the dull-ass life around you.

fuck that poll – i think austin should still be top dog here.

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