tuesday two-funny bit: booze & geriatrics

Author: Published: August 24, 2010 0 comments

it’s tuesday, and last week was a rough week for me…

…so, let’s giggle a bit with some funny shit. first off, where i was LAST tuesday:

we’ll start with this, which i took at the bar of sean pat’s at some point that evening AND decided it needed to be my FB profile pic, which it sat as for damn near a week. a pint of smithwick’s and an irish car bomb. had a round for me, a round for a friend who couldn’t make it, and a round in the lucky dude’s honor (which was totally his fault for not only dying earlier than he needed to, but doing so the day BEFORE st. practice day). that was dinner. but here’s where it got sad the next morning for me (“sad” more in the “pathetic” sense rather than the “depressing” sense):

a few things should be noted here – while it does say “4pm bar” and then shows me cashing out at “5:34” i was NOT there an hour and a half. keep in mind i WAS solo, and not even my imagination can keep me mentally preoccupied in a bar for ninety minutes unless UFC is on – but the notable on the receipt is the patron name: “REGULARGUY”. the bartender wasn’t there when i started and the waitress apparently knew me, but not well enough to know my name…so i got to be the “REGULARGUY” on their all day happy hour day. why do i feel that speaks volumes about me?

moving on…i got this sent in an email from a friend (who, ironically, is a social worker at a hospital/nursing home facility) and thought it was brilliant:

The New Plan

Let’s put the seniors in jail, and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks, they’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc. and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes, and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool, and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard with gardens.

Each senior could have a P.C. a T.V. radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The “criminals” would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised, lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room, and pay $5000.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out. Justice for all.

not bad, eh? so, let’s end this bitch on a sticker than pretty much sums up the next couple days for me:

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