is this a BBQ joint or the back nine?

ah, picturesque lockhart, texas…

my hometown of the last thirty years. the bar-b-que capital of texas. we get more tourists traffic from serving meat than reno, nevada (did anyone get that?). but picture this – you head out one saturday morning from austin (or san antonio, or wherever) to partake in the world famous brisket and sausage, pull up to the place, and see and a FUCKING GOLF CART!!!

okay, so it may look more like this

rather than like this

but that is SO not the point.

i got all excited – ya see, i commute 100 miles each day, give or take. so when i heard on the news that lockhart was “taking a step to help residents combat high gas prices” i thought we were gonna have a lockhart lockdown on how high pump prices could go.

“we’re gonna stick it to the man and let them know we don’t do four bucks a gallon in my town!”, i thought to myself. “damn the man! fight the power! kill whitey!!!”

(okay, ignore that last one)

i’ve never watched the news so happy in my life. waiting…anticipating…what we were gonna do. so, what was the plan?

allow fucking golf carts on all streets with a speed limit of 35 mph or under.

you have to be shitting me.

i don’t know if it passed, but i rode all over town on a bike this morning and never saw a single ez-go, so perhaps it didn’t. (it did! as i edited this bit a guy drove one by the library…sadly it looked more like the second pic) talk about being let down. here i thought we were thinking forward, instead we’re gonna turn the place into a giant retirement community. if i start to see golf carts and we follow it up with early-bird rib specials, i’m outta here…