we have a winner!

i figured out the reason for my latest funk…

…and it’s not money, or joblessness, or the state of the economy, or sick dogs, or dead babies, or scary clowns, or immigrants juggling chainsaws.

nope, it’s my couch.

today i broke my normal cycle (which i saw nothing wrong with, i should add) of hopping on the couch after the doggies were fed and the morning monster* was in my hand – only for me to have a hard time getting going again.

*”morning monster” is referring to the low-carb monster energy drink i consume every morning, and is not a masturbatory reference…oh yeah, like i was the only one thinking it.

i sat at the dining room table, which was in desperate need of being cleaned off, and drank it. talked to ME. wrote the whore bit. did some job searching. cleaned the table. and the dishes. and the counters. all of a sudden i had accomplished all the actual RESPONSIBLE shit i wanted to do, and the clock hadn’t even struck eleven yet…and unlike yesterday, i didn’t wake up at 3:00am and STAY woken up.

so there we are.

went to the gym, ran errands, busted my diet wide open with a double cheeseburger from lily’s, and went and saw boondock saints 2 – all saints day with shane. good shit. then, on the way home, a twisted friend (NOT shane) emailed me this and the two of us laughed our asses off – shane said “put that up on the whore, show you still ‘got your funny’ and piss some people off in the process!”. when the boy’s right, the boy’s right…

yeah, it’s wrong – but what are ya gonna do? time for some bushmill’s!