the carnation caucasian, part i

the title is NOT a floral reference…

…it’s a MILK CARTON one.

as in “this (not so) lil’ white boy’s been missing too damn long”.

as an old cuban saying goes, “i have some ‘splaining to do…”

so lemme ‘splain.

two back ground items:

number one, when you make the “temp to perm” transition in the land of the rising dell you actually make LESS money to start. in fact, for the first month, you’re pretty much dead broke. the theory is that with your new-found ability to make commission, in the long run, you make more money. from what i’ve been told, this is actually true. but in the short term, before the commission kicks in (which takes about six to eight weeks) you are FLAT busted.

which leads me to that unpleasant conversation i get to have with my mortgage company later – how are you supposed to explain that you got a promotion and now make less money? to those unfamiliar with “dell culture” (a term that’s thrown around way to much at work) this makes little sense…

…to those of us who bust our ass there, it makes even less.

but, for the time being, it’s the way it is. hey, at least now i don’t have to wonder who’s gonna be cutting me a check come may (when my spherion assignment was set to run out) – i just have to wonder how to pay bills with it.

so, needless to say, with all this economic stress (which i should be used to by now, but after a break of four months, i had grown Unaccustomed to again) i’ve been drinking a bit more. as the social scientist homer simpson has stated, “ah, sweet liquor eases the pain”. so painfully true. but this STILL isn’t the number two reason i’ve been off the whore for a week (not meant as a “no-sex” reference – that’s actually been WAY more than a week – why the FUCK do you think i’m so bitter these days?) although this does kinda play into the the number two reason…

so, i was drinking at baby a’s one afternoon (you knew a purple would creep in here somewhere – this time it was another three round experience) when i started glancing through the chronicle and saw the south by southwest (or sxsw) list. for the last three years i have been the guy in charge of distributing all five THOUSAND of the wristbands throughout the greater austin area. i have also gotten one from star for free for the last three years. the first year i went and had a ROCKING time. the next year i was stranded NEAR mexico (not even IN mexico) and the next year i was stuck in oklafuckinhoma…

…so my record of actually getting to USE the fucking wristbands was not good. with a little purple frozen mental lube i decided that i HAD to call and see if i could get one this year. one call had me on the list of possibles to receive one of the star comps – and ALSO had me reenlisted to distribute them for a fourth year. i figured during this time of economic “transition” the extra moulah would do me a world of good, and once again when dell HSFed* me, star stepped to the plate and made sure i could afford a square meal or two.

* HSFed = High School Fucked (hahy skool fuhkt) verb: what SEEMS like it will be fun and pleasurable and is therefore something you dream and strive for but instead turns out to be, at least at the time, awkward and disappointing.

so last tuesday and wednesday morning, that’s where i was – running all over hell’s half acre making it to where when wristbands went on sale 10:00 am thursday morning, all was set up nicely. but it also requires occasional maintenance…

…which is where i’m off to now.

so, i’ll ‘splain the rest of my disappearance time a bit later…

(to be continued)