leave ’em up day

last night i discovered i was an asshole…

…okay, that’s a bit like saying columbus “discovered” america.

it was already there, and plenty of people knew about it. but last night it was for an odd reason – i had fun. now, i know when i occasionally have fun at someone else’s expense, it makes me an asshole. that i am astutely aware of, and as i have pointed out on here time and time again, i’m not tactless – tactless people offend or say hurtful things oblivious to the fact that they are offensive of hurtful – i am DAMN well aware that i am offensive and hurtful…

…i just don’t care. and that makes me an asshole.

but the incident that came into question last night was the last trip to vegas, whereby i was extremely hung over, and as a result we ended up so late to our flight that we had to sit eight rows apart…and then i proceeded to get my drink on with two older (read: old enough to be my parents) couples who insisted on round after round of bloody marys for me once they discovered it was my birthday.

and the fact that i didn’t just sit there quiet and miserable makes me an asshole since it was my fault we were late to the plane.

that, i can accept – and deal with. but i feel it needs to be let go.

certain relationship baggage needs to.

if you cheat, that shouldn’t. i consider that a biggie. the whole “breach of trust” thing. if that happens and someone’s shit ends up on the lawn at four in the morning, so it shall be. but just getting drunk and having fun NOT at someone’s expense? that just needs to be let go and chalked up to making the best of a bad situation…

…i’m just sayin’!

i rank that offense up there with leaving the toilet seat up – which in my eyes shouldn’t be an offense at all.

yeah, ladies…i said it.

we don’t gripe when we go sprinting back to the can, undo the belt, the waist, all the buttons on the fly, whip out only to discover we have to pinch it off for another half second to do this one-legged balance bullshit to kick the seat up if we don’t have a hand free – because we usually do it BEFORE we end up in that situation. we walk in and SEE the toilet.

and you can, too.

so today, i declare “leave it up” day – let the ladies flip it down for a change. tomorrow can go back to normal, whatever that may be in your world. but for today? in the spirit of teaching all to let the little stuff go, leave ’em up – and if you have one of those girls who backs up and checks for a down seat with her ass? you might just end up laughing at someone else’s expense today…

…and from an evolution standpoint, i don’t think you count as an asshole this time.