good OLD lists…

as you may have noticed, i tend to do a lot of lists on here. this was one of the first, and was entitled “seis, cubed”, i.e. 666. it’s a metal thang; and a monday repeat thang. gonna try for three lists this week, in m-w-f pattern, just to celebrate college folks heading back to class…

i just got done watching a re-run of the vh1 one hit wonders special, which this time was on 80’s metal, and i decided to do a re-run of my own. see, before i had astrowhore, i used to occasionally write “top ten lists” for kramer’s joke subscribers…and one i did was “top ten signs you’ve never outgrown your metal phase”. well, i’ve decided to re-do, with some additions and subtractions, and make it a list, in no particular order, of EIGHTEEN things. why eighteen? because 6+6+6 is eighteen…and 666 has to be in there somewhere, might as well be the theme…plus, after a day off, i owe y’all some reading material, right?

1. you learned html JUST so you could start your own poison fan club website.

2. you not only got “o-z-z-y” tattooed on your knuckles by your buddy when you were fifteen, but turned around and paid $125 on your 30th birthday to have a professional tattoo artist “clean it up and make it look ‘bad-ass’ for you”.

3. you paid triple digits for your def leppard tickets from a scalper. for LAST YEAR’S tour.

4. when someone mentions watching “cinderella”, you think of a band and not a disney cartoon.

5. more than half your jewelry has skulls on it.

6. you’re over thirty, and you “get” marilyn manson.

7. you still own and wear a pair of those cowboy boots with the scrunchy, slouchy tops. with your jeans tucked in them, of course.

8. when you see a pentacle, you think of mötley crüe rather than wiccan or paganism.

9. you paid to have an iron maiden poster custom framed for your office at work.

10. you’ve dated someone who’s actually spent the night on ratt’s tour bus.

11. you’ve started bar fights over whether or not that guy from judas priest is REALLY gay.

12. you’re exctied that you can soon order rob zombie checks.

13. you still regularly wear bandanas…but not on your head.

14. you still resent the brothers van halen for firing david lee roth, even though girls that were born the day it happened are now LEGAL AGE.

15. your wearing a slaughter “slave to the grind” tour shirt in your CURRENT drivers license photo.

16. you don’t know what a “mullet” is, even though you have one.

17. you own more than a half dozen leather undergarments that you have worn in public places.

18. you can remember enough about metal to write a list of eighteen things in under half an hour.

oops…busted myself on that last one, huh? that’s okay…three other ones fit me, too. but i’ll never tell which ones….

Replies: 7 Comments

She was the most coked out sorority girl i’ve seen in a while.(not a stripper)

Harold also said @ 08/25/2003 11:04 PM CST

Does it count if you’re the tattooist, and have had strangers tell you you resemble Mr. Zombie?

Harold also said @ 08/25/2003 11:03 PM CST

wasn’t slave to the Grind Skid Row??

Harold said @ 08/25/2003 11:00 PM CST

I have to add, Sean, forgive me:

1.) You have more than five shades of dark purple lipstick.

2.) Black is your wardrobe ‘neutral’ color.

3.) Your sunglasses prompt people ask,”if you ride.”

4.) You own a motorcycle jacket (with road burn) even though the only thing you own with two wheels weighs five pounds and has Japanese letters on it.

3.) You listened to Zombie’s “Hellbilly Deluxe” for a week solid while studying for the Texas Bar.

the scorpio redhead said @ 08/25/2003 09:34 PM CST

I’d be shocked if at least one of the girls you’ve dated didn’t spend the night on a tour bus…

kathi said @ 08/25/2003 06:39 PM CST

you nailed those two, dude…here’s a hint: the third fits me AND you…

sean (damn, i rock…no, really) said @ 08/25/2003 09:59 AM CST

let me guess. manson, zombie are the first 2, but if the third is about the leather underwear, i don’t wanna know…

shane said @ 08/25/2003 09:48 AM CST