protection via the maternity fraternity

i think i’ve come up with an idea that really fires on all cylinders here…

…it solves a texas health care issue on multiple levels, as well as other things we really need to focus on.

so, school starts back for texas this week, and there’s still a bad taste in the mouths of a lot of parents due to the blatant failure of the whole “good guy with a gun (and a badge)” brigade in uvalde. i won’t go into all the details, as they can be found any number of places online. suffice to say, the only thing louder than the gunman’s shots was the sounds off the balls dropped by law enforcement.

moving on…

another thing texas has unabashedly shown it cares for is fetuses. ya just can’t do enough to protect a fetus in texas. rat out your friends, family, and neighbors if ya gotta, but protect that fucking fetus at all costs! doesn’t matter if it’s to the detriment of the mother, that little blob the size of a kidney bean is a precious gift from god and needs to be protected no matter what! at least, so say texas lawmakers.

so here’s my plan…

people who object to the lack of abortion in texas say it disproportionately hits women of color, women below poverty, women without health insurance or real, steady, well-paying employment. well, if there’s one thing folks from the austin area can tell you, it’s that few places pay better and offer more comprehensive health insurance than working for the fucking state government! and to that end, i feel the state should hire pregger women to stand in front of all entrances to all schools in the state of texas. every fucking one! weather too hot? no biggie – stand inside in the a/c. or sit in a nice comfy chair just inside! but by all means, make sure you (and more importantly, that future first grader you’re toting in you) are between the outside world and those kids in the classrooms.

problem solved!

pregnant women get a steady check, and insurance including all the prenatal care they could hope for!

now, while they aren’t going after ANY of the law enforcement that failed at the school in may with any legal charges because they’re not sure what to charge them with (being a chicken in texas in worthy of getting made fun of, but not getting prosecuted) the law is pretty cut and dry that if you aid in getting a fetus killed your ass is gonna pay! so any cops that don’t protect this woman at all costs, or any school shooter that takes her out, INSTANT charges! it’s win/win!

and before you point out that, by this plan, once the woman gives birth she’d be of no use and lose the gig, the state doesn’t give a fuck about her once she’s given birth any way, so that’s just getting things back to normal! to paraphrase social prophet, george carlin, “if you’re pre-born you’re golden, if you’re pre-k, you’re fucked!”

welcome to america!