throwback boozeday

so, after an evening that included warring promoters, one of which still had some fire in his belly from the trailer they were using as an office being repossessed with them still IN IT, and him having to jump for his life as it was hauled off, and conflicting stories, and whining outlets, and whining co-workers, and this, that, and the other josh was MORE than ready to bid good-bye to his tech support position and i was more than ready to wrap up my night…both of which were gonna be done the same way. with booze.

certain drinks are manly, certain drinks are not. i remember going on a double date once with a couple where the guy was kinda the quiet, shy type who didn’t contribute much to the conversation and therefore could be easily overshadowed by even an average conversationalist. for those who have hung out with me, you know certain phrases DO NOT come to mind when you think of me…like “average conversationalist” (or for that matter “quiet” or “shy”). as a result, not only my date, but HIS date, was paying more attention to me. as it SHOULD be, but never mind that now. the point is, i wanted to help a brotha out and make him look more “take charge”. so when the waiter came around and asked if we wanted another round, i suggested that HE pick a round for us. his pick?

piña coladas.

it was the song on the pa at the time. you KNOW the one…”if you like piña coladas….getting caught in the rain…” don’t worry; i know you knew what i was talking about. but now it’s stuck in your head, isn’t it? i am SUCH the evil bastard.

but piña fucking coladas? with whip cream and a cherry on top none the less? what a FAIRY. if he got laid, like EVER, by that girl, it was a mercy fuck, i can guarantee it. certain drinks you can order rounds of for the ladies, certain ones you CAN’T. i don’t know if i’d get a round of jack black or something when ordering for the table (although if your GIRL orders jack for the table, it mean’s she’ll probably do one of two things later: take it in the ass, or kick the shit out of yours…YOU make the call); but a margarita is always a safe bet. i don’t know ANY women who drink and DON’T like margaritas. and in texas, especially, you can drink one as a guy, and not look sissified.

but if you order a frozen, try to get a floater. for the uneducated, this is where they add a shot of whatever so the icy chunk kinda floats in it. the last time i did that, it was a midori floater, at the request of a birthday party guest that unfortunately couldn’t make it and wanted me to down one (or more…i went with “more”) in her honor. not the most manly of floaters, but it did the trick. keep in mind, ANYTHING you put in only adds to the alcohol content.

the one frozen margarita i personally would NEVER add a floater to is the now infamous (on this page and elsewhere) baby a’s purple margarita. that is enough booze all on it’s own. josh wondered about them, one time had ONE, and that was all she wrote. he hasn’t touched them since.

this guy danny, from our phone center, went out with me and josh once and had two just like i did. when i took him home, he lost consciousness in my car. the next day, he went to work, took calls for like, two hours, and then passed out for the rest of his shift STILL DRUNK from the night before. some of my readers (and you KNOW who you are) need not never try this drink due to your alcoholic light-weightedness…which i am NOT faulting you for.

just warning.

unlike tellitubbies, the purple one in the margarita line up is NOT the wuss of the bunch. it’s more like a ’70s ‘cuda plum crazy purple kinda drink…a lean, mean, high octane machine. in fact, in a pinch, i think they can be melted down and used to fuel funny cars.

Replies: 3 Comments

Naw, I have a friend from TX that makes a killer maggie with the orange lik-core in it… they are a funny brown color and makes him sing along with Dr. Hook CD’s REAL loud… generally I drink bourbon or Bushmill’s… on ice with a splash

Annie in Jawja said @ 07/04/2002 04:23 PM GMT

hey now…you’re NOT including margaritas in that, are you? what do YOU drink?

sean (i write this stuff) said @ 07/03/2002 02:22 AM GMT

Pina Colodas and such…We call them FBD’s… Frozen Bimbo Drinks. Only good for the beach. Except for the ones made at home by “special” friends…

Annie