almost eighteen (a flashback that’s not about what you think now)

so, i have a lil’ confession about the title…

…it has nothing to do with the content of the repeated bit. not at all. in fact, it has to do with the fact that, on first try, i pulled one off one of my archive discs that wasn’t already out there. that’s pretty fuckin’ rare. usually these go through three steps to get here:

1. i pull out the meticulously done archive disc kramer gave before journalcon 2003 and look at the archives for that month to find the bit from february 2002 – september 2003 that is “perfectly aged”, meaning on the day i’ll rerun it’s exactly eighteen or nineteen years old.

2. if there’s not one, i hit the jump drive containing the rescue bits and randomly pick one, then check to see if i’ve used it. typically i have, and i have to go back to the well…often two or three more times.

3. if there is a “perfectly aged bit”, i check to see if it’s already been run. usually it has, and we go back to step two. if it hasn’t, we run it then.

today i went one, then two, but only ONCE and got one first try, which was…

faux bee, uh?

by sean ~ January 26th, 2004. Filed under: Uncategorized.

i don’t know what i’m afraid of…

…seriously.

most people have something they’re deathly afraid of. okay, maybe i shouldn’t say MOST people. but quite a few. bugs, public speaking, public affection, commitment, my dogs, what have you – almost everyone i know has some fear that is damn near crippling that while they admit might be a BIT irrational is still part of who they are.

i don’t have one…

i don’t mean this in an “i’m a world class bad ass” kinda way. i just mean that, to the best of my knowledge, i don’t have any phobias. while i DO admit, i tend to freak out about my financials occasionally (but, to my credit (pardon the pun), i’ve never really made enough money to cover the bases until now, and going into this i was in a pretty deep hole, so it’s taking a bit to dig back out again) and i’m not the biggest fan of spending copious amounts of time in solitude (my mind can be a scary, scary place when left unaccompanied…you people read me…you **know** this). but other than that, i don’t know if i have any real fears. at least not any major ones.

i’ve dated girls who won’t come to my house because they’ve had nightmares about my dogs attacking them, even though they’ve never even looked cross ways at them. i have known a girl who would freak out if you yahoo messaged her that clown face you can do by typing “:o)” or whatever because she was that spooked by clowns. and one of my closest friends is a current police detective and former marine but was on the floor in the fetal position during the close-up shot of the needle going into travolta’s arm when we went and saw “pulp fiction” back in the day…

…and if you knew what a germ-o-phobe this guy is, you’d realize how odd it was to see him take to the sticky-assed floor of a movie theater to escape a screen image…

…but it freaked him out that bad.

so, any one else in reader land have one? drop it in comments…use a fake name. i’m just curious what’s out there. and if any of you think you know me better than i know myself, see if you can think what mine would be…

…other than writer’s block, of course.

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