fencing, the first part

so, i have had this project “on the books” for a while…

…in fact, i ordered one of the job specific tools i used when i placed my order for the hubcentric rings i needed to mount my rims. back in march…

…of 2019.

but i finally decided to replace part of my fence. why only part? for two reasons…

1. covid has driven up the cost of all building materials, particularly lumber to astronomical prices. so anything that needs that we’re being sparing on.

2. all my neighbors helped drive up said price by replacing their fences right up to the property line with six foot high wood privacy fencing, braking down my old fence in the process, so the only parts that were left standing and shitty were the front facing panels on the side yard.

i’ve been looking around at this shit for a while, and i remember the ufc and i going scouting for lumber and getting prices but we had to wait for the loan to come through, then we had bigger projects to tackle, and then it got fuck all hot. then came the shed, which i thought would have to proceed the fence, but i found a work around with that.

that being said, the fence still needed to happen.

if you go to any home improvement store you see fence panels. eight foot sections of fence that are prebuilt to just be slapped onto your posts and go. i didn’t wanna go that route, i wanted something that would look cool – but i liked the concept to where when i started designing shit in my head i did so in an eight foot section, than measured how many sections i’d need to do the job, and did the math.

then got on the home depot app and ordered a shitload of wood. the last time i did this it came in when i was at work, and the ufc and os had to load a bunch of heavy shit in the carport. even though this order would have a lot lighter components (no 225lb shed in a box, no heavy 4’x8′ sheets of plywood) it was still a lot (96 pieces if i remember right) so i wanted to deal with it personally. i set up delivery for friday, when i’d be home, between 10am and 2pm because…well…i need my rest on friday since i close the shop that night.

i didn’t get it.

around 4am the ufc got woke up by one of our dogs and took her out, crashing on the couch when they came back in so i wouldn’t get woken up when she came back (a sweet gesture, but i’m a light enough sleeper that i was woken up when they got up and took almost an hour to get back to sleep) but i finally dozed off around five.

i woke up an hour later to blinding light filling the front of the house and shooting down the hallway to the bedroom, accompanied with that industrial “beep…beep…beep” noise of construction equipment. i flew outta bed, had to piss, and then ran outside.

nobody there. silence. slight pre-dawn light. oh, and this…

i walked back in, explained what i saw to nik, then tried to go back asleep, but it was no use. i was up. i checked my phone, honestly expecting a text from home depot to the effect of, “screw you, we’re coming at dawn!” but instead saw that my shipment was now TWO shipments, and confirming my delivery time of 10am – 2pm.

i guess the driver didn’t get the memo.

since i was up, unlike most fridays, i took the boy to school because…why the fuck not? i’m up! i then went and got some stuff to make us lunch since i’d be on “wait for it…” house arrest through the normal lunch window, drove back to the house, and i as i got out to grab groceries out of the back seat the driveway was blocked by…

i took the bags in and came out to chat with the gentleman rolling up my driveway on a piggy back forklift…

can i ask you something?

sure thing…

why the FUCK do i pay $20 to specify a delivery window if y’all just ignore it?

whatcha mean? i’m here between 6 and 10am!

yeah, but i scheduled between 10am and 2pm…see the texts?

(i hold up my phone)

sure, but your paperwork says…*glances down*…well, sumbitch – it does say 10-2! you want me to go grab breakfast and come back after 10?

um…no. you’re already in my driveway with the second pallet of lumber, so just set it next that asshole’s pile!
(and i point at the earlier delivery)

we then had a more serious conversation about my “rude awakening”, and on his advice i called the manager of the first guy’s store and they (in theory) refunded my whole $100 delivery fee (i haven’t checked my home depot card yet).

and then it was off to work for the weekend, but we got down to the serious shit on MY weekend…

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