i am so not gay…promise!

i don’t know what it was about this weekend. maybe it was the planetary alignment. or the prada shoes. but i heard it more than once, although pretty jokingly i’m sure, at least MOST of the time…

“are you SURE you’re not gay?”

“yes, i’m sure…”, i would respond. but when i was giving shopping advice to a gay man on monday night, i kinda started to wonder. add to that the fact that i was sitting six rows from the stage, in the center floor section of the sbc center wearing a semi-see-through black shirt and jeans and the pradas and it made it look even MORE suspicious, since it was a cher show and all. but i’m secure enough in my masculinity to accomplish all this and still be sure i’m not gay. and for those of you who CAN’T, i truly feel bad for you…’cause real men know this is all okay.

i was promised two things out of this evening…an amazing, vegas-style show and amazing company. i got both. cher is really great live, i frighteningly knew a larger percentage of the material, and even had bitter-sweet childhood flashbacks when they played clips of the sonny & cher show. see, THAT was what was playing on the tv the night my mom and dad pulled me into the living room to tell me they were getting divorced; the next morning dad was outta the house…and i always flash back to that night whenever i see any clip from that show. earlier in life, that hurt, ’cause it reminded me of the start of my dad-less childhood. but considering how cool i turned out, and how that probably would have been way different had things gone another way, now it always makes me smile…but i digress. let’s get out of the seventies and back into monday…

being a white male between the ages of 18 and 34 makes it even weirder for me when i end up being the minority among minorities. this time, being male, white, under thirty-five and straight made me a definite minority in a very large group of people. but that was okay. being a guy at a cher show, you have to take the good with the bad; an example:

good: when we hit the can between cyndi lauper and cher, i was in and out way faster than my “competition”, and she CHEATED…

bad: ya know when it seems like the guy at the urinal is giving more than just a passing glance at yo’ shit any you wonder if he’s checking you out in an un-cool way? here you’re pretty much guaranteed he is.

as for the show, it was definitely vegas-style, with great visuals, cirque de soleil style choreography, and cher going through more wardrobe changes than you’d see barbie do if you walk down that girle pink aisle in toys r’ us twice. and my company? as amazing as promised (and then some) covered by four L-words…

Little
Lovely
Latin
Leather-clad

let’s face it, you KNOW the woman looks good when even the incredibly gay guys (as cher said at the start of the show, “ladies and gentlemen and flamboyant gentlemen…”) in the seats next to you tell her (and more often, you) how awesome she looks. but they couldn’t tell me the two things i left wondering and still don’t know…

1. cher’s real age
2. cher’s real hair color

bet a few of you know the first…but does ANYONE really know the second? i bet at this point even SHE’S forgotten. little help here, readers?

Replies: 3 Comments

I always hate it when I come to in the middle of a week long bender like that….

harold said @ 11/27/2002 10:41 PM CST

why did i just know you’d have an answer to that one really quickly?

sean (still straight…but looking good enough not to be last night…) said @ 11/26/2002 08:05 AM CST

cher: Taurus, May 20, 1946. Cap Moon, Cancer Asc. Probably brown hair. But I’m not taking bets on that guess.

astrofishy said @ 11/26/2002 01:17 AM CST