drill ’em if you got ’em

unlike my last bit, i think i have a legit corporate america gripe…

…’cause sunday found me at my fucking OFFICE for a couple of hours.

today was a “deceptive” day when it came to the weather – it looked gorgeous…not a cloud in the sky…and keep in mind that LAST week we were in the eighties. today? barely fifty, with a wind…but at least it LOOKED pretty, right?

most people who know me know i tend to be a wee bit animated when i speak. i pace. i gesture. it’s what brings my voice “to life” in my eyes, and it’s what helps make me a successful salesperson over the phone, provided i am allowed to pace and gesture (and have loud music going), which fortunately they cover me on two outta three at my inc.com gig by setting my desk up so i can pace and type with a desk height of exactly thirty-one inches…

…and i only know this ’cause they had a nurse come in and measure what the appropriate desk height would be for me to do all this at once.

the problem comes when you move desks – typically you get a weeks notice, and you have to submit for them to re-measure you unless you happen to have saved the email from way back when when they did it the first time. i, oddly enough, still have the email.

but i also, oddly enough, was just offered my new gig three hours before i left on thursday AND took friday off, which means i would have to submit my “facilities request” on monday and they would move me (best case scenario) THIS thursday, but most likely next thursday.

at this point i would like to interject a little history lesson…

when i worked at star tickets doing concerts my day gig was in the office, and part of that was making sure that everybody’s computer worked. if they had asked me on monday to fix something and i had said, “i’ll get to it by thursday” (let alone by next thursday) i would have been shit-canned pretty quick. but that’s small company america, versus corporate america. in the latter, they just shrug their shoulders and say, “these things take time”.

see, i didn’t have the wrong JOB, i just had it in the wrong PLACE. yes, that’s my excuse…

now in this case you’re thinking, “but you can STILL work, you just have to sit down…”. good theory – except that the same nurse will also make sure that you have your desk at JUST the right height to be comfortable while seated if you asked her to. the girl i’m taking over for asked – and got it.

she was also five foot nothing. AWESOME girlfriend height for me – but not so much if i have to sit and the chica’s desk. i couldn’t even sit with my legs under the thing…it squished my knees. and so it would be, until this thursday…or next thursday…

…or today, when i thought about it and realized i had watched them take apart a desk and set the height a time or two. takes one guy with decent upper body strength, and a cordless drill with a screwdriver bit.

i can cover that.

so up to the office i went, drill stashed in my backpack, and when i start my new job tomorrow my desk is set up perfectly for me from the word “go”. no paperwork is needed, and if any has been submitted, one of the guys i work out with works in that department so i’ll make sure it “disappears” before anyone notices or complains.

sometimes the redneck way IS the right way, dang it! pass me the bourbon!

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