i survived my first parent’s weekend (not a collegiate throwback)

i’m kinda proud and not really proud of the irony in using the verb “survived” here…

…ya see, a year ago yesterday i got the call my dad had died. it was rather sudden. i throw in “rather” because it’s not like there wasn’t SOME build up, but it was minimal. about three weeks and he was gone. i was scheduled to be up there the week after he passed, my sister had been up the week he did. there’s more moving parts on my end to arrange so it just didn’t fall into place in time.

i’ll never feel quite right about that.

the official cause was complications from an infection that came from his kidney transplant a year prior, but at the time they thought it was weird that he had those symptoms plus no appetite, sore throat, unable to swallow, and needed a ventilator towards the end. now i think we all know what that was, with his seventy-nine year old, no immune system having ass hopping between four hospitals a week with no mask on, don’t we?

but at the time we didn’t.

and while yesterday marks the one year of dad’s passing, today marks the TWENTY-FIFTH anniversary of my mom passing. yep. back to back days. people that don’t know my family history hear that dad died the year before the anniversary of mom’s death and get all, “aaaawwwww – see, now in death they are reunited as god intended..” or whatever the fuck. three things they don’t understand:

1. i guarantee dad had zero clue what date mom died
2. their deaths were separated by twenty-four years
3. they had been divorced for almost twenty years when mom died, and he had been remarried before the ink dried on the legal paperwork

so while dad might have had a heavenly welcoming committee upon arrival (hey, my charm does come from SOMEWHERE, you realize) i doubt my mom was part of it. but here’s a pic of them in the early 60’s during happier times:

(i’m guessing early sixties because dad is wearing his senior ring, and graduated in 1959, but not his wedding ring and they were married in 1963)

and to wrap on a happy note, with yesterday being the day prior to mom’s passing it reminds me of the guy i met that day, because that event DOES tell me the exact date i met one of inner circle, so happy 25th friendiversary kramer!