since it’s sunday let’s talk about satanic spells and shit

as a city, nashville is typically pretty forward thinking…

…that being said, the catholics are typically quite the opposite.

and with that, national news was made as a nashville catholic school pulled all the harry potter books out of it’s library…because the spells in them are real and can conjure the devil and such.

really? ya sure?

These books present magic as both good and evil, which is not true,” his letter reads. “The curses and spells used in the books are actual curses and spells; which when read by a human being risk conjuring evil spirits into the presence of the person reading the texts.

that was actually in the email sent out to parents. it seems like if these were real spells we’d have seen them cast, literally millions of times, in the twenty-two fucking years it’s been since the original book was released, right? does the devil walk among us and we were unaware?

it would explain our current presidential situation rather nicely.

if you do a deeper dive you’ll find this is the work of an over zealous zealot who, during his tenure, has run off many long time students and faculty of the school. they were remodeling the library so all books had to be removed, and when they went to restock found they didn’t have as much shelf space as they’d had previously, so he pulled them due to the aforementioned bullshit (after consulting with real exorcists both in america and rome, which i had no idea was still a real career path one could go after) and the space limitations aided in his decision.

to show how this reflects upon the community standards as a whole, a generic search for “harry potter” and “nashville” pulls a metric shit ton of articles about this, but also three upcoming events – “wizard fest”, which goes down november 17th (in nashville), the annual “harry potter bout” with the nashville roller girls on october 19th, and (most amusingly) “Halloween At Hogwarts” on october 5th with the FUCKING NASHVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. so, yeah…way to give the people what they want, padre!