in the olden days of the whore it was not uncommon for me to do two bits in a day and then fuck off for a few days…
…keep in mind this was dial-up iMac days for me. things are a bit different down.
that being said, sixteen years ago today that’s how it was:
02/28/2002: “guys and dogs”
the cops just left my house. okay, so more accurately A cop just left my house. okay, so even MORE accurately, my buddy lance, who just happens to be one of austin’s finest (EAST austin, no less…the “hood”) just left my house. he wanted to borrow my laser thermometer (which i liberated* from a building maintenance guy at my office) i said no prob, since he’s a good friend, the thing cost me NO money, and he takes care of my dogs when i’m out of town.
my dogs are my children, and much like their dad, their appearance tends to deceivingly scare people. don’t get me wrong, if you come in my house when i’m NOT here, and they don’t know you, calum (rott/st bernard, 112 lbs) and buffy (pit bull/germ shepard, 86 lbs) will, i’m fairly sure, FUCK you up. but if they know you and know i’m cool with you, you’ll be okay. and for that matter, if i’m HERE with you, you have nothing to be afraid of. but lance is the only one who’ll watch them when i’m gone.
it’s not that i don’t have options, but he seems to be the only one who’s a combo of he likes them, and they like him. his wife, heather, is not so lucky. when calum first met her, she was my one friend who would come over here to hang out with my ex and her friends. problem was, that made calum think she was one of HER friends…and after seeing the messy exit that girl made from my life, he wanted no trace of her around, and that included heather. so she can’t watch them.
then there’s jim. 6’4″. 275 lbs. been like a brother for over 15 years. but as part of a married couple, he only regularly associates with their “and” friends now. larry AND jen. nick AND becca. there is no sean AND….(much to my dismay, and i AM working on it slowly but surely, but these things DO take some time sometimes) as a result, he’s not here much, so calum doesn’t know him; plus as big as he is, calum even scares the hell out of HIM, and my boy can smell fear…and if he smells it, he’ll fuck with you just for his own amusement. hey, the boy has no thumbs…he can’t play on the web, or work any of my remotes….he’s gotta have fun somehow…and scared white boys make damn good amusement…unless they’re in high schools and wear a lot of black…but never mind that now.
most of my other friends live too far (harold, shane, phillipe) or creep buffy out (kramer – don’t ask…LONG story), so who does that leave? lance. plus, with the odd hours police officers have to keep, he comes over at all hours and they like that, since i tend to keep odd hours myself. and i have to utilize him again next week, when i head to tulsa for two days next week. all i can hear in my head is that old joke: why doesn’t texas float off into the ocean? ’cause oklahoma SUCKS!!!
*liberated means stole.
which i assume was done late at night, past midnight, since that was followed by…
02/28/2002: “this is a GOOD morning?”
well, so far i’m four for four. that’s right..monday through thursday of this week, i have YET to plant my ass in my chair at work by 9:15, let alone 9:00. sure, i list my official office hours as 9:00ish to 5:00ish, but this is getting ridiculous. and it always goes down the same way…
the night before, i can’t sleep. had a lot on my mind lately, and just haven’t been able to doze off at a reasonable time; FINALLY i fall asleep around 1am. then the next morning, i’m all cuddled up under the covers in my PJs (that’s piercings and jewelry…the only thing i wear in bed no matter HOW cold it is), and due to the temperature, i’m basically in hibernation. it’s times like this it’s both good and bad that i’m alone in the morning…bad, ’cause i REALLY wish there was someone there to cuddle with…good, because if there WERE someone there, we’d probably be doing a LOT more than cuddling, and then i’d be REALLY late, but there’d definitely be some bounce in my step. 🙂
so then, i finally get out of bed, and then i can’t get out of the shower..it’s warm…and wet….and now i’m thinking of what would make me REALLY late again, so let’s move on quickly…then no matter how much i hurry, i still leave barely on time, and then there’s always some stop to be made. a bill to pay. dog food to get. car needs gas. and then there was this morning…something i’ve REALLY missed lately…the “hi honey…good morning” call. been TOO long since i’ve had one of those. but this one was evil. and wrong. ’cause it was from KRAMER!!! now i’m scared to sleep on my stomach in my own house….and he wasn’t even there!!! be afraid. be VERY afraid…