i can’t recall (no pun intended) if i voted in the last national election, but i think i did…
i think it was the one BEFORE that that i was the good grandson and took my then ninety-one year old grandmother to go vote since i didn’t have time for both of us to do so before i went to work. i thought it was the right thing to do and probably the last time she’d get to vote, so i figured let the woman have her voice.
she had me vote FOR her. it was a short process…
“sean, do you see the place at the top of the ballot where it’s labeled, ’straight ticket’?”
“mark it ‘republican’ and we’re done”.
the end. always wondered why w had sent her a note on her 90th birthday…
so, the last time i had voted in a national, i had to vote at the catholic church – but when the locals came around, i had to vote at city hall, so i thought they had changed my polling place. i left the house and got to city hall a bit before eight and figured i needed to wait till they opened. i was surprised nobody else showed up to vote, but what can you do? it WAS early…
so, the doors get unlocked and i go in. no voters. no polls. nada. so, i ask…turns out that even though i voted there for the locals, i don’t vote there for the nationals. and they had no idea where i was supposed to go.
so i went to the catholic church and got in line. and waited. and waited. and ten minutes later, they took my drivers license – and replied,
“you’re not on the list”
“hey – wait a minute. this isn’t some nightclub in soho – this is american democracy – i HAVE to be on the list!”, i fire back.
well, it turns out that due to some redistricting i now vote across town at the lutheran church. so, off i went; to go wait in ANOTHER line in ANOTHER church. i don’t think i’ve spent this much time in church without a corpse present in almost a decade.
and i was happy with that.
**NOTE – the “without a corpse present” line refers to going to funerals – not me killing random religious folk**
so, half an hour (was that all? it seemed longer) after it all began, my ballot was cast (and not in the same way grandma’s had been so many years ago – i vote for candidates, not parties). so, don’t forget to hit the polls tonight – they’re open till 7:00. and always remember – if you don’t vote, don’t complain…
…but if you DO vote, you can bitch as loud and as often as you want. the right to bitch is guaranteed in the constitution – but the right to BE a bitch isn’t. don’t get confused!