easter weekend in l.a. (part i)

no, i did not go out to los angeles. i like my people a bit more real than l.a. tends to be (or cali in general, for that matter). and while a big chunk of it WAS in louisiana, i don’t mean that either. (unless you’re from enterprise rent-a-car, in which case i DO mean louisiana, and the sand in the back seat came from galveston). no, i’m talking about a place that has been called by many names…

floribama (leslie)
the redneck riviera (kramer)
lower alabama, or “l.a.” for short (jason, usaf)

i preferred the last one. it makes my weekend sound more adventurous. but i had a good time. a good, emerald coast, drunk for a good chunk of it, damn do i miss those 190 octanes from fat tuesday’s kinda time. it’s the only part of the country where i can listen to anything by jimmy buffet and think, “yeah…what he said”.

it’s also the only area of the country where surf shops have more confederate flag stuff than hawaiian-looking stuff. but that can be a good thing. while i did pass on the “real southerners drink brown liquor, not malt liquor” shirt, i did spring for a set of confederate flag fimo beads which i hung around the rear view mirror. between that, the shaven head, and a well-faked southern accent all i got was a “well, slow down and move along now…” when i got caught going 82 mph in a 55 mph zone by the mississippi highway patrol. probably helped that i told him i was hurrying home to texas to stop my sister from dating a black guy. don’t worry…i refused his offer to take his pistol to defend her honor. last thing i needed to do was get popped for speeding AND a concealed handgun while shooting through louisiana that day, right? but we’ll go into the rest later…driving from 7:15 am yesterday to 1:45 am today tends to make concentrating a bit difficult.

Replies: 7 Comments

Nothing wrong with some of us in California. Just gotta know the right people.

Da Goddess said @ 04/26/2003 01:50 AM CST

greg, i’ve spoken to you in person before…and yes, you can.

sean said @ 04/24/2003 05:30 PM CST

I’m told that it’s okay to use the word ‘nigga’ because it represents a brotherly kinship. Damn, can I sound any more white?

capman said @ 04/24/2003 04:53 PM CST

Er…remind me not to make racially charged jokes online when mercury is retrograde…..

the other redhead said @ 04/24/2003 06:50 AM CST

“Honky?” Oh come now. Surely we are paddies or micks. Speaking as a descendant of an old Irish family, if I really want to be p.c., I prefer to refer to myself as one of the “niggers of Europe”.

the other redhead said @ 04/23/2003 08:26 PM CST

as compared to the honky sean? and to think, i ALMOST used the word ‘nigga’ to add to the authenticity

sean said @ 04/23/2003 09:25 AM CST

He’s not a black guy, he’s a negro sean.

the other redhead said @ 04/22/2003 10:21 PM CST