get a room

we’re trying something new here…

now, it wasn’t MY idea; but it was an idea from “ME” to keep astrowhore going without me risking my job by typing entries at work, which was how the one yesterday got done. so, if you can read this, the idea from “ME” was a success. be sure to thank her amazingly attractive (and brilliant) self in the comments section. i’m sure she won’t hesitate to thank herself there…

…and i don’t blame her. moving along. let’s talk about porn for a while.

i think i’ve brought this up before. but since it was actually on the news, let’s revisit.

the forward thinking minds of the tennessee legislature (yes, kramer, the land that brought us the original elvis, and all the elvi that have sprung up since) are trying to put a law on the books making it illegal for folks to roll around on a saturday night, kickin’ it in their escalade with the twenty-six inch spin-while-you-stop rims, with the bass box that can drop a buffalo at fifty yards, and six screen dvd system and watching porn while they do it.

a woman said she was “very distracted” while driving, and that it made it hazardous to do so.

here’s my thought: if you weren’t attempting to watch the damn movie while you drove in the lane next to them, how is it a danger? in her on-camera interview the “mother of three teenage boys” didn’t mention how late she was out when she saw the “offensive and graphic” movie playing in an SUV in the lane next to her, or how far she followed along side them. judging by her more than slightly repressed appearance, i’m figuring a few blocks. in classic southern form, she probably thought to herself, “well, i never…”

yeah, babe, but i bet you wish you had.

the entertainment lobbies are all up at arms about this, claiming it could lead to censorship, and that it’s a “slippery slope” (a term i haven’t heard since my years on the hightower show) that could lead to any movie that would offend anyone in any way being banned from viewing in the privacy of your own truck. of course, this IS a state in the south, where quite a few lawmakers (and voters, and…), if their mammas would admit to it, were probably CONCEIVED in a damn truck.

but never mind that now…

in the words of the elected official sponsoring the bill:

“if they want to watch scooby doo, it’s okay…but if they want to watch do scooby it’s not…”

DUDE – and i thought i had some sick stuff in my porno stash. no dogs, cartoon or otherwise, have ever been harmed, maimed, or even appeared in any of the movies in the back of my closet…nor the ones in the entertainment center in the bedroom…or the dvd rack in the den (sue me…i own my share of porn, okay?) makes you wonder what the distinguished gentleman from the land where “tennessein’ in tennebelievin'” is seein’ late at night when no one’s around, huh? who let the dogs out, indeed.

so, is this law just the “gateway drug” to automotive censorship? i know some pornographic noises have escaped my car windows at least once or twice – with the images to match…and i DON’T have any flip down screens or dvd players…the girl at the time was just down with that kind of thing.

(okay, so now you know that while i am currently alone and bitter, it hasn’t always been that way…again, sue me – latinas can be fun)

while i DO applaud the “do scooby” reference, i don’t know if i see this as a bad thing. i mean, window tint was invented for a reason…and if you can’t wait to get home to watch porn, you seriously need to get laid more often. i mean, it’s been quite a while for me, and i still don’t have the urge to watch austin d. flowers – the spy that shagged the ut sorrority house – and i even have a cameo in that one, as pierced member – agent 008.5.

but i digress…

so, what do you folks think? harder to find a more sexually liberated bunch than an astrowhore audience. i don’t know if it’s such a bad thing. plus, what are the chances any of us (save for kramer) will ever end up in tennessee?

Replies: 15 Comments

i think we should all get together and make a “do scooby” movie and send it to the fine in-bred folks… er… lawmakers of tennessee.

and i know of a certain dawggg tribe that could be our stars… they have, no doubt, seen enough vicarious porn to put us all to shame….

elle said @ 04/01/2004 12:25 PM CST

“…I got kin in rebel places, where the wookie growls and I hear they’re chasin, my troops away…”

I think we’ve got a weener.

– G.(arth) said @ 04/01/2004 10:48 AM CST

because you’ve got friends in low places…

wait…that would be GARTH, not DARTH.

um…er…come over to the dark side?

sean said @ 04/01/2004 09:13 AM CST

why do I keep coming here?

darth said @ 03/31/2004 10:48 PM CST

Personal Orgasm Relief Needed
Proper Organic Rectal Noodling
Patently Offensive Red Necks
Probably On Real Narcotics
Practice Only Really Naked

sean said @ 03/30/2004 09:39 PM CST

you frighten me.

kathi said @ 03/30/2004 07:18 PM CST

I can say this in all honesty, if I ever did run into a midget that would have sex with me(female only of course)and offered to dress up like a clown to boot,to quote Al Bundy “Let’s rock”

JMS aka HIM said @ 03/30/2004 06:34 PM CST

honey, you and i both know that that’s a whole other thread… and that sean might come up on some even more wild google searches than “midget clown porn” if we take you up on the offer…

kathi said @ 03/30/2004 05:38 PM CST

Yes I do, that is why I said YIKES!
PORN – People Offering Random Naughtiness
I am sure the crowd can out do that…any takers

ME (AGAIN) said @ 03/30/2004 04:37 PM CST

but you’ve never told us any “and then she unzipped her jumper…” stories…

kathi said @ 03/30/2004 02:43 PM CST

now, now…you know i prefer naughty catholic school girls over midget clowns any day…plus, don’t you have bozophobia?

sean said @ 03/30/2004 02:26 PM CST

No midget clown porn?? YIKES!

ME said @ 03/30/2004 12:54 PM CST

nope, I think that one was all mine except I stole it form George Carlin’s “did you know that most women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place”

HIM said @ 03/30/2004 12:04 PM CST

isn’t that a paraphrase of andrew “dice” clay? or sam kinison?

sean said @ 03/30/2004 11:43 AM CST

Did you know that most women who are against the exploitation of women in pornography are women you wouldn’t want to exploit in the first place?

JMS aka HIM said @ 03/30/2004 10:37 AM CST