ride the tide

first off, i am in PAIN…last night, at yet another hippy show (the last one i plan to work for QUITE a damn while) i made one crucial screw up…i forgot to put on bug spray; and for some reason mosquitoes LOVE my legs. don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad…they get their share of compliments. (i sound like SUCH a chick at this point, don’t i?) but i just counted, cause my ankles don’t usually hurt like this…and with today being “leg day” at the gym for me, it made it worse…you know how many mosquito bites i counted? and keep in mind, i’m NOT a contortionist, so i can’t see all the way around my legs (and due to the length of my shorts, these are all mid-calf and below)…

i still counted FIFTY-TWO!!!! that is SO fucked up…

another slow day at the office, so i bailed early…but only got out FIVE minutes early. amazing the difference five minutes can make. apparently, the 123,795 cars i wait in line with on 360, and then MoPac, ALL belong to people who can’t leave their office till straight up five, or soon there after. i’d played with departure times from the office post 5:00; and it seems that any time after 5:00, and before 7:00, SUCKS. you wait, and wait, and wait. if i leave the office at 5:10 or so, i don’t get to the gym till 6:00. do the math…that’s FIFTY minutes. that’s almost as long as it takes for me to get to work in morning traffic, and my house is forty-three miles from my office. the gym is about one FOURTH of that.

but today, i left the office at 4:55…and got to the gym by 5:20. HALF the time, by leaving five minutes early. i still got out at 7:00, but that’s only ’cause i was talking tattoos with the person at the treadmill behind the elliptical i had just hopped off. but that “to the gym” ride was just TOO cool, even if my socializing (and natural motherfucking charm) made me leave at the usual time. the traffic home FROM the gym has never been an issue…

monday was just TOO cool…i had to go to the gym, but had misunderstood our receptionist about FedEx pickups around our office. she said that it COULD be run down to the pickup box at 5:00, i.e. just do it on my way “down the hill”, as it were, from our office. but i thought she said it had to be run down BY 5:00, like that was when the pickup occurred…so i left the office at 4:45, and was therefore WAY ahead of the traffic tide down 360.

i could get SO used to that shit.

i pulled out of our office complex at 4:45, and was at the gym just before 5:00…fifteen minutes. one THIRD the normal time. i swear, if i could convince my boss to let me work 8:45 to 4:45, i would be ALL over it…just for the smooth ride out. it was the same sort of traffic hassle you get at 4:45 AM, or damn near. but since i typically can’t even make it there by 9:00, i don’t know quite how i’d do that…

what IS the secret to you morning people’s existence? there’s only one thing that’ll get me moving in the morning, and on the occasion that can happen (from what i remember…it has been quite a while) i STILL end up late to work, just with more pep in my step. times like those i miss those five hour, seven-to-midnight radio station work hours…

hey, speaking of that, i’ve always been told my voice is pretty nice (not meant to stroke my ego or anything, although that DOES seem to be all that gets stroked on me these days)..some women have even told me my voice is “sexy”…although my girlfriend when i used to dj at 101x said, “it’s okay…but i think ‘sexy’ is going a bit far” (keep in mind she’s no longer in my world); the point being, as someone who’s done radio (and will undoubtedly return to it at some point) i think if people en mass are gonna have to listen to someone, they should sound at least PLEASANT, if not as sexy (and motherfucking charming…and MODEST) as me…

so why is it, the gold’s gym, in their infinite wisdom, gives the microphone over to the bitch with the SHRILLEST voice this side of a car alarm to make their announcements? and it gets worse…she THINKS she’s funny. she makes up little nicknames for her fellow staff members when she has to page them…like “the punisher”, and “ray-ray”. and today, when she thought the music could be louder, started saying, over and over again, “do y’all want the music louder? do you want me to pump it up? hold up your hand if you want me to PUMP IT UP!!!”…like she’s DJing at some motherfucking club…

to which i replied (doing standing leg curls at the time, so my head was down and no one could tell where it came from), “do you want this annoying thing to shut the hell up? if you do, hold up only ONE finger!!!”

my voice is loud. it carries. PA system? i don’t need no stinking PA system…

and i saw a lot more FINGERS than i did HANDS.

needless to say, we worked out to predominantly SHRILL-SCREECH free music for the rest of the evening…or at least the time i was there…

Replies: 2 Comments

okay…typo corrected…smart ass!!! 😉

sean (like you don’t know me) said @ 08/02/2002 04:06 AM GMT

Ok so let me do the math…. you left the office at 5:55 and got there at 5:20. Hmmmmm….you either must have a. a great engine in that car
b. have a lead-foot or
c. pulled a Superman, drove fast in reverse and stopped and reversed the normal flow of time.

You Texans and your fuzzy math!