one of the things about married life is, for better or worse, a lot of things just “appear” in my house without me buying it…
…like toilet paper.
today was one of the odd occasions i had to pick some up (there’s always that one item that gets forgotten on the trip, right?) and i swear you need a calculus degree to make sure you’re getting the good deal. on the upside, we always get the same brand (charmin) and the same kind (strong, which is still really soft but doesn’t shred) so from there’s it’s just a matter of quantity…
…but that’s where it gets weird.
i don’t know if “normal” rolls still exist, but they sure like to use that as a measure. there’s a double roll, and a giant roll, and a mega roll, and basically more rolls than a vegas sushi buffet. and one is like two “regular” rolls, whereas the other is like four, and then there’s the giant which is like 17 rolls in one and can’t even fit on your spool. and for every size roll there’s four different package sizes and when all is said and done you just hope you didn’t take it in the ass spending money on something you are literally gonna wipe your ass with and flush down the toilet.
and when that reality hits you, fifteen dollars later, you just feel sad.
and now, a public service announcement to end our broadcast day: