that bit where i might sound like an asshole (again)

let’s talk about the bane of my morning existence…

…crippled children.

there is a law in place in texas whereby if a school bus is stopped loading or unloading the little ones that red lights flash and stop signs pop out of the side of the bus and it is a SERIOUSLY hefty fine if you go around the bus in such situations. said laws/fines are in place for two reasons:

1. so survival-skill-challenged kids that run around the bus and into traffic survive their day to day, despite what darwinism teaches us about such individuals, so they can continue to breed trailer-park levels of offspring helping solidify idiocracy being more a documentary than a comedy.

2. to prevent assholes in bmws that are in a hurry from going around said buses and possibly taking out said children.

(and yes, i would be one of those assholes)

so here’s why morning sucks – 8:22. if we leave the house by then we beat the bus…if we don’t, we never seem to. what bus, you ask? the short bus (meant literally) that drops off a handicapped kid at os’s junior high. i don’t think she’s mentally challenged (i.e. she’s brighter than the aforementioned traffic targets) but she is PHYSICALLY challenged and bound to a wheelchair, which means one clear thing to me…

…HOMEGIRL CAN’T RUN OUT INTO TRAFFIC EVEN IF SHE WANTED TO.

for that matter, homegirl can’t run ANYWHERE. or run at all. totally sucks, but it is what it is.

and as a result, there is NO FUCKING NEED to bring the whole drop off lane to a halt while a mechanical robot platform gently lowers her and her chair onto the sidewalk. those things do NOT move fast. you also don’t need to keep us waiting while she rolls the fifteen feet to the cafeteria because, again, it’s not like the wind’s gonna catch her hat and she’s gonna dart into the lane to get it. and you sure as fuck don’t need to keep us there AFTER she’s in the school while you raise the platform back which, i should point out, could be done WHILE she’s rolling to the cafeteria since both move about as fast. it’s multi-tasking. look it up.

okay – rant over. corner booth in the cocktail lounge in hell secured.