i almost got to arrest trump! (almost)

ah, what kids learn these days from our leaders…

…like punch your wife, and the president will still wish you well.

this is the man some of my friends admire. call him “THEIR president”. but he broke the law (again) and won’t see punishment for it. ya see, his aide likes to punch women, and they have a nasty habit (not as often as they should, i might add) of making a legal stink about such things. when you’re trying to get security clearance to, for example, handle top secret documents for the president of the united states, you need that clearance. rob porter never got that clearance. why? because he beats his spouse. but he was still allowed, by the current administration, to handle sensitive documents, all while having less right to do so, technically, than i do.

(we both have no fed security clearance, but i can at least honestly pass at ATF clearance to own a gun, which if you have pending charges for domestic abuse or restraining orders on file, you can’t…he has both.)

and that, folks, is a violation of federal law. if i worked in the white house and actually saw the president do this, i could literally place him under citizen’s arrest for committing a felony in front of me. in other states you don’t have to see the felony, just know it took place. there’s footage of porter handing trump documents, but you don’t know if that stack of a 100 pages is his monthly mcdonald’s tab (healthy, my ass) or the schematics for north korean missiles. but i am a citizen of the great state of texas, and one of very few things that makes us NOT so great is for citzen’s arrest here you have to personally witness said felony.

well done, you flaming hot cheeto with a bad weave. maybe next time.

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