white folk problems – seven edition

i always like to double check my facts when i speak to somebody non-english speaking about shit that concerns my money…

…and it’s not ’cause i’m racist. it’s because they’ve been wrong before and it almost cost me my house.

i fell behind on my mortgage when i worked at dell due to slow sales equaling smaller paychecks. it happened because i applied the inverse of how banks do things…have you ever overdrafted your account, and it was made worse because the bank put your BIG payment first, so the account went in the red by pennies, but then followed it with all your bullshit small charges like gas and smokes so they could get seven $35 overdraft fees versus only one if they’d run your mortgage last since it was charged…well…last? they claim they do it so your “more important” transactions aren’t returned, but in reality they do it to extract more fees out of you.

well, i did the opposite.

sprint will cut off your service after two weeks without payment. my utility company only waits a week. but getting foreclosed on takes you being ninety days delinquent – so when you just fall a month behind, or even two, you’re still “safe”, it just fucks with your credit. but you ain’t homeless. so i paid all the bills one month EXCEPT the mortgage, and it allowed me to catch up. now i was in a crucial place…so i called customer service at my mortgage company, got an indian rep, and they told me i had to wait for some forms via snail mail and i could get all right side up…but when the forms came they were the WRONG ones. keep in mind while waiting for said paperwork i was instructed NOT to make any payments, ’cause the forms would get everything correct. now i was two weeks later and getting closer to my homeless date and i had the WRONG forms. so i called. got india. again. they apologized for the error, said they knew which forms to send, and the process began again…two weeks later mail arrived – with the same INCORRECT forms.

now i was two months behind. now it gets serious.

so i called back, but this time when it said, “para español, el primo numer dos” i pressed two, banking on the fact that there was no such things as spanish speaking indians…and i was right. i got a call center in guadalajara, and growing up in texas negotiating a mexican accent is no big deal – all the reps speak english because that’s how they’re trained. so i got the RIGHT forms two weeks later and got right side up again…but it almost cost me my house.

and then there was the recent http://daphuk.com/?p=6533 but never mind that now…passive aggressive fucks.

i’m looking forward to my next phone upgrade. not so much because i don’t like my iphone six – i like it quite a bit. but they DID change the size of the seven, which means the case i went through all the bullshit wait for that my six is in will NOT fit the seven, and it was such a debacle they didn’t even TRY to make one for the seven. i’ve decided to go with the plus this time around – i don’t carry it in my pocket often, and in a case the regular’s already bigger than my cup holder, so the spot in my car where my phone lives can easily hold the plus as well – might as well get the bigger screen, right?

we leased our sixes and i keep getting notices i “can upgrade early” so i called about that – not surprisingly, i got india. all i was trying to find out was if we DID upgrade early, would we have to pay off the remaining lease payments on the current phones? and, more importantly, how much would that be? we get a “loyalty” discount per line since i’ve been with sprint forever that saves us between fifteen and nineteen dollars PER line, so the phones (NOT the service, just the phone itself) run between a dollar and ten dollars a month.

but lease loyalty discounts don’t count on pay-off stuff, apparently. so we’d have to pay off anywhere between $50 for me and the ufc’s phone, to $60 for the boy and another $200 for shane’s according to the indian rep i spoke to. but i wanted to verify that, so i called back and once again got india – but with a thicker accent, and she had such a hard time understanding ME (?!?) that she tried to talk to me about the line i wanted to add to our account. what the fuck? how does “pay off lease” end up at “add another phone line”?

welcome to the language barrier…

so today i was gonna call again when it occurred to me – i’m just gonna end up in the same spot. the same misunderstandings. the same bullshit. we’ll just wait till january, and then see if we can even push ours till march and do all four (me, the ufc, her mom, the boy) at once and figure out shane’s situation once summer rolls around…i’m just not in the mood.

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