cork ’em if you got ’em

you know the problem with meeting famous people you like?

famous people are just like every other type of people – some are cool (eddie griffin, carlos mencia, gibby haynes, the list goes on…) some are not (only pauly shore comes to mind) and some are just severely introverted, but are probably really nice once they get to know you – that’s what i’ll take is the case with one of the signatures you see on the wine bottle below…

…and no, your eyes don’t decieve you – there’s actually two bottles. one for me, one for shane. the scribbles on the bottle belong to two winery-running partners, one of which is maynard james keenan of tool and a perfect circle. he is a notorious recluse, and finding stuff signed by any member of tool, let alone HIM, is pretty damn rare (case in point – eBay, where you can find “anything” turned up only two “signed” items from mjk – one was just a replica signature (and was noted as such) and the other was one of these very same bottles, priced at $100).

i figure i have a mic and jack-in-the-box (no bullshit) signed by ozzy, and a pic signed by rob zombie – this just completes a nice metal trifecta for me.

he’s signing bottles at whole foods markets (in san antonio tomorrow for all who care to brave the SA metal crowd…that is a bunch that knows how to party!) but the even goes like this – show up, get a ticket (1,000 are available per location) then they call you in numerically to grab a bottle of booze (prices range from $25 to $100) but the catch is there are NO limits on how much you can buy (people were buying whole cases) and there are only 1,600 bottles per event. so, if you get ticket 1,000 you “made it in” but you’re pretty much fucked.

(hope somebody’s not reading this on their iphone from the back of a line somewhere…)

the event started at 4:30, i got there at 3:30 and got ticket number 561. while hanging at what became the metal social event of the season i made friends with a pretty little thing who was number 327 – when her number came up (and things looked slim for me) i gave her $30 and she emerged an hour or so later (not her fault mjk took a break half way through the process) with a signed bottle for me (which will now go to shane).

but then the unthinkable happened – i got in. so now, faced with a chance to meet him, i needed to unload a bottle and since shane was down that became the plan and i walked in with another bottle to get signed for me…and MAN does this man know his security. surrounded by store staff AND texas state troopers you walk up to a table – staff man one takes your bottle, hands it over to be signed, you have a back and forth of less than five seconds, staff man two hands you your bottle, and you’re ushered out. no pictures allowed, no cell phones allowed, and don’t even THINK about shaking hands or bringing in ANYTHING having to do with tool, a perfect circle, or pucifer. just wine bottles – and they have to be bought on site at the event.

they are NOT fucking around. i say all this to save you the hassle of wading through the line should you care to go…

oh, and my brief five second exchange…

i rub my hand over my bald head, which he has, too…

“looks like we have the same barber…”

(eye contact – heard that’s rare) actually, mine died…

“you mean your barber or your hair?”

brief smile – slight chuckle (heard those two are huge)

bottle gets handed back to me

the end

like i said, extremely introverted, but i have a feeling he’s a nice guy and i wish him all the best…to him, and his barber’s family should that actually be the case…