and…scene (at least after tonight it’s over)

this was literally all the bit said back on election day 2008:

as the new song from the killers says…

…”are we humans? or are we dancers?”

kramer predicted obama back in january, and while i won’t say where my vote is going i think he might be right…guess we’ll see tonight, huh?

fuck, i don’t even know what’s up with the lyric quote – that makes ZERO sense to me now, and back then i was clean and sober thanks to corporate american random testing and such. i mean, how’s that for looking at the election as a non-issue? that’s far from the case tonight – as i told a co-worker the other day, i’m forty-five years old and this is the tenth presidential election i’m consciously aware of (being eighteen months old when nixon took it again in ’72 isn’t a clear memory for me) and this is the first time the outcome has me genuinely nervous. again, i’ll say this – if things go one way, i won’t say a word on my facebook. but if you see a video from my georgia compadres R.E.M. (you can probably predict which one) and my profile pic is changed to this tomorrow you’ll know what’s up:

trump-fuct

and i’ll run the same text, with a different pic, until one of four things happens:

1. his first 100 days are up
2. the world ends
3. facebook shuts me down for abusive language (which is when i simply won’t reopen my profile)

or…

4. donald comes after me personally for doing so…which if you know my history with life in general, you realize could actually happen.

so rather than flashback to last election day (nov 4th, 2008, in case you’re curious) let’s flash back to eight years ago today, where the bit was funny and less worrisome:

i don’t know what to call this one
November 8, 2008 sean MEdit

the last time i got called out for jury duty was the LAST time i got called out for jury duty…

…and probably with good reason. i was dismissed pretty quickly, which a few attributed to the fact i knew (had gone to high school with) one the attourneys on the case, but another guy in the pool had as well and he ended up on the jury for the long haul. no, i think it was one phrase i said, to the judge in open court, that got me tossed out:

don’t be a pussy

the case involved (is it legal for me to discuss this? it’s been five years or so…) an assualt charge whereby a guy was in a bar, another guy walked up, and punched him. no history given other than that statement and the fact the two knew each other prior to said altercation.

i was taken aback.

i was asked if i considered that assault, based purely on the facts given, with assault being defined as a criminal act worth of prosecution. i repeated back…

so i’m at a bar, and some guy i know comes up to me, hits me once across the face, and i just walk away, call the cops, and press charges rather than hitting him back?

i was told that was the long that the short of it. my response?

hell no!!! hit him back!!! don’t be a pussy…

juror number nineteen, dismissed.

there is a reason i brought this up. i was sent a bit idea by a co-worker about a woman who was arrested for killing her online husband in some virtual-world online game (the real guy, as well as his murderous former online spouse (NOTE: NEVER his spouse in the world you and i call home) are still very much alive in the real world). he thought she was up for murder, which would have made a wicked good bit…

…but she was up for hacking, which makes that a wicked lame bit. seems when they were “married” in their online lives they shared everything, including their login information. when virtual hubby divorced with no prior warning of problems the woman got upset, logged in, and killed his avatar. when he logged in and found his avatar dead he called the police in the real world and pressed charges.

again, don’t be a pussy. but hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for sega, i suppose…

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