there’s pills in that locker!

remember when amazon mainly sold books?

…i guess the real sad question these days would be, “remember when people actually fucking READ books?!?”

well, both those days are behind us. of course “amazon” begat “amazon prime” so none of us had to wait more than two days for our shit, even if day two was a sunday (yes, the post office WILL deliver on sunday if it comes from amazon…godless heathens). then amazon prime begat amazon prime now, for when you have to have that random shit in two hours but don’t want to ACTUALLY leave your place. there used to be amazon “local” but that seems to have gone away. this was then going to transition into a rambling diatribe about how amazon prime now and favor and other such services are slowly making us into a world where nobody ever leaves there home. ever. we just stop interacting face to face unless it’s face time to face time. but then came “smidge”.

“smidge” looks kinda like this:

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if you look close you can see this one’s name is “wallace”, but the one across the street from the shop is “smidge”…

it’s a locker so deal with amazon i decided to try. if you order online and don’t want it shipped to your actual residence, be it because you have shady-ass neighbors that might gank your shit or you just need a gift to not be discovered early because you’re not home to get the mail, you can get your amazon shit shipped here. you can also use it to return stuff, which was how i utilized it yesterday…and i’m not sure if i did it right. it seemed pretty foolproof, but when i used to return via the ups drop box i got an email within the hour the driver picked shit up. i have yet to get an email on this one…and i dropped it off at eleven this morning. maybe they’re not checked daily? there was severe screen glare so i couldn’t read my screen, but i got the gist of scanning the barcode and when i did “POP” a locker door opened, so i put my box in it and shut it.

but i got zero confirmation on what the fuck to do afterwards. it said to put in the code OR scan, so i never used the code…and never got confirmation. and the thing didn’t pop back open or anything, so i have no fucking clue what’s going on…and have you ever tried to reach a person at amazon? good fucking luck!

so we’ll see where this goes…

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